“And what if I buy this stuff and find out its crap?”

The group chuckled at my naiveté.

“I cut my arm off a year ago and took some of these here vitamins,” one guy testified. “And whaddaya know?! My arm grew back. Hairs and all.”

Chief Scamster then told how to make big bucks roll in.

First, be your own best customer. Dumping all your cleaning supplies, laundry detergent and cosmetics in trash and replacing them with overpriced concentrate is a sure sign of financial genius, he explained. What’s more, it’s important to believe in your product.

Second, make a list of everyone you want to annoy. This includes friends, family, coworkers and everyone in white pages from three nearest towns.

Third, systematically annoy everyone on your list. Invite them out to dinner where they, too, can be immersed in a crowd of glassy-eyed, goofy-looking scamsters.

Fourth, act giddy. Phony enthusiasm is a proven sales gimmick, especially when coupled with idiotic product testimonials.

Fifth, emphasize success potential by pointing out vast number of gullible people who think they are all destined to be pyramid millionaires.

Sixth, ask your friends if they would like to quit their jobs and work part time for a six-figure income. (Don’t tell them that four of six digits are to right of decimal.)

Seventh, never use words like “multi-level marketing” because someone may get idea that your multi-level marketing scheme is a multi-level marketing scheme.

Eighth, project image of success by buying a new Lexus. Getting in debt up to your glassy eyeballs is a tried-and-proven sales strategy.

Ninth, just think of all stuff you can deduct from your income taxes, like one eighth of your bedroom if you use corner for a home-office. Yes sir, you can pave your road to riches by wasting long hours for a tiny tax deduction.

Tenth, stay motivated by wasting an obscene amount of money on motivational tapes and CDs. Someday, when you hit big time, you, too, can screw your down line out of thousands of dollars.

Next week. How to retire early buying lottery tickets.

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Don’t be afraid to use your creativity to come up with even more innovative ideas.

If you have time, start your own networking group. You could hold meetings at a local seminar room, at a park, or at your own business building. If you want to hold meetings on-line use a private chat room.

Publish a print or e-mail newsletter to keep members informed of meeting time and dates.

Keep all your business associates' contact information all in one place. Have it organized by business type or profession for easy finding so when you need some advice on a new marketing campaign you can call that marketing expert you met at that trade show in Ohio a couple of weeks ago.

Networking is a surefire way to build a successful business. I have used it countless times and will continue too. I have also met a lot of business people who are now some of my closest friends.

When you network you just can’t lose!