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But these are small things compared to permanent relationship of marriage. Yet only requirement in marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.
However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?
People think of marriage as a kind of fiction story where characters "live happily ever after." But it is never so. Because great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.
You may also discover after marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden before marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of "if I had known." (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)
Your Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and "war."
It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: "I am no longer interested." And then marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner that "game" is up!
Do not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It does opposite, says Paul Getty American millionaire.
Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture? Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays in Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts in Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you in face? What will you do?
You may find out that love you had for your mate now begins to drop when children start coming in. The reason may be that you no longer have time for each other, or your mate is now getting old. Is it time to sue for divorce?
It may vex you to find out that you are living with an infidel, a betrayal of trust, and not a friend and confidant. Now, suppose you find out that your mate lied to you about his or her history before marriage? Or what if you find that your mate was cheating on you -- committing adultery?
Suppose your partner starts depriving you of sex? Or what if sex, which was supposed for enjoyment now becomes mechanical? Some have even used sex as a bargain tool : Buy me a Swiss gold watch, and I will give you sex!
Some wives have woken up after wedding day to find out that their husbands were impotents, or eunuchs. Husbands have also been told by their wives that they would die if they had sex together. Because they have husbands who satisfy their sexual desires in spirit world! What would you call that?
This may also affect your marriage depending on where you live. Barrenness, miscarriages, unseen attacks, deaths and broken marriages have been supposedly caused by wicked spirits. Does this bother you? Maybe not. But know that wicked spirits exist.
If you allow your in-laws to intrude into your family, they may ruin your marriage. Both of you are now one, and should be able to solve your marital problems without frequenting your parents, or relations for advice.
What kinds of associates do you and your mate have? Are they unwholesome friends? They will not help your marriage. Know that bad company can corrupt good manners.
These are some of things may shipwreck a marriage. They may not be case with your family. But know that there is no perfect family on this earth. So there must be one kind of problem or other in your family. Now what are required to make a marriage successful?
To be continued
(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)
ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: http://controversialwriter.tripod.com mailto: firstname.lastname@example.org Web search: Arthur Zulu
Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and pubished writer.