Surviving the Holidays

Written by Julie R. Holland


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* Plan your indulgences. If you MUST have Aunt Sydney’s latkes or Grandma’s eggnog then plan for it. Don’t blow your eating plan on lesser treats. Hold out forrepparttar good stuff. A few indulgences can help you stave off a binge.

* Say no! Not every invitation or request must be accepted. You have a right to a sane and happy holiday season. If that means graciously turning down an invitation or saying no to a volunteer opportunity, then that is what you need to do. Your health MUST come first or you are no good to anyone else.

* Stick to your healthy habits as much as possible. Schedule in time to meditate, exercise, or attend a yoga class. When you are happy and healthy you will do much more to spread repparttar 130396 holiday spirit than you ever could if you were crabby and exhausted.

Julie Holland, author of “Alternative PCOS Solutions” is a life coach who helps professional women cope with the effects of chronic illness. She writes the weekly e-newsletter "PCOS Success." You can learn more at: www.pcoscoach.com.




You’re A Mom, She’s A Mom: Being An Adult With Your Parents

Written by Mimi Azoubel Daniel, MS, CEC


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Validate Feelings and Beliefs. Your new ways of doing things may feel like a threat to your parents. Without intending to, your way may seem like a personal attack againstrepparttar way you were raised. Feeling offended, your mother may try to influence you either to retaliate or to create a comfort level. It is important to share with your mom that, as an adult, you have taken all that she has taught you to create new ways of doing things with your family. You have needed to compromise and synthesize everyone’s ways to create a new way that works for all. Recognize that you and your mother have a right to your own opinions, even if they are different from each other.

Get a Guide There is such a stigma in asking for help, especially for woman. However, a third-party perspective can make allrepparttar 130395 difference in how you communicate with your parents. This does not mean therapy or counseling. Find a Coach, a guide or even clergy who specializes in relationship issues. Be sure your Coach helps you both to focus on your goals forrepparttar 130396 relationship. In other words, what do you want your future with your Mom to be like? Do you really need to hash out and analyzerepparttar 130397 past or are you ready to learnrepparttar 130398 skills to move forward? Also, make sure your Coach can offer immediate tools to use to help you diffuse potentially contentious situations. Ask Questions. “Why do you ask?” “How does that make you feel when I do that?” “Why would you do it that way?” What is your mother’s real intent when she does something that gets under your skin? If asked, she would probably be shocked that she hurt your feelings. Her intent was to help, not hurt. What is behind that seemingly critical statement or probing question? You may be surprised to find that she has her own agenda that is separate from what seemed like a criticism. Before you react, ask genuinely interested questions. This also takesrepparttar 130399 focus off of you and onto her.

As my mother offered my sonrepparttar 130400 lollipop, I choked down my frustration and sincerely asked her why she gave himrepparttar 130401 candy. Her answer caught me off guard. She expressed how hard it was for her that she lives so far away, that she could not help raise him and that she feared he would forget her from visit to visit. She explained that in her limited time with him, she wanted to bring pure joy and excitement and make him feel special. As I listened to this, I recognized that to my mother, all of that was represented in a lollipop. And what kind of mother was I to deny my son all those wonderful feelings? I also recognized that I could be true to my way of doing things and still love and respect my mother.

© 2004, XY Outlook, Inc.

Mimi Azoubel Daniel, MS, CEC is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Relationship Coaching. She works with individuals, couples and businesses to create strong healthy and satisfying relationships at home and in the workplace. She conducts several workshops and is frequent guest speaker. Specifically, Mimi offers the Lasting Marriage Program and The “Y” Workshop, a non-denominational, premarital workshop. For more information, visit www.xyoutlook.com.


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