Continued from page 1
With all our blood rushing to our extremities, our brains are getting leftovers. This is worst possible time for us to be logical. When we're angry and that adrenalin is surging, we're far more likely to say things we'll regret and to make decisions that will have us shaking our heads later. If you react verbally or respond intellectually in that adrenalin moment, you're going to have some clean-up in aisle 12 later-- apologies and general repair of relationships and projects.
Most of us have learned that we need to step back when we're really upset in order to avoid making a mess of things. Here's something you may not know: it takes a full 90 minutes for your body to get back to normal after experiencing a blast of adrenalin.
Ninety minutes. That means that a simple "time-out" for your child isn't likely to relax him, and postponing that important meeting for 10 minutes while you cool down isn't going to guarantee that you'll be fully capable of handling your issue in a level headed way.
If you really want to take advantage of your body's natural mechanism for survival, you might as well learn to work with it. The good news is that, with a little flexibility, we can use our physiology to help us thrive and even make us healthier.
You've got to move, and you've got to breathe. Isn't it convenient that those two go together so well?
Here are four best strategies for surfing your adrenalin wave: *Paddle. Your arms and legs need movement, so look for acceptable ways to get active. Go to restroom and do some jumping jacks if you can't sneak away for a walk or head to gym for a workout. Move some boxes. Sort recycling. Reshelve some books. Beat rugs. Shake out comforters. Go for a run. Crank up your stereo and dance with kids in living room. Jump on exercise bike or go cycling around neighborhood. Walk to another part of building. Find a corner and do some push-ups. Activate those appendages!
*Laugh. When we're angry, our bellies tighten up. We take shallow breaths at chest level. This just adds to brain drain! We need to relax enough that our bellies can move freely as we breathe, and if we don't get that by doing some cardio that makes us huff and puff, next best thing is to laugh. Get a laugh partner, and agree to call and guffaw--no talking allowed. Bust a gut, and breathe deeply.
*Sing. You need some serious exhalations, so jump in shower and blast out your favorite power ballad. Get in your car and sing along with radio. Releasing sound is therapeutic in itself. Throw in some dance moves, and you've got it covered!
*Avoid meditation. Ignore what you've heard about thinking through your anger. Mindfulness is immensely valuable, but trying to meditate when you're really angry is not realistic or helpful. Be active first, and then sit. The only way to handle that adrenalin in a healthy way is to engage physically. You've got to be calm to be mindful. Get control of yourself physically before using your mind to address a problem.
Next time you get mad, get moving.
Work with your body instead of against it. Learn to surf that adrenalin wave, and you'll become a better decision maker, a more relaxed parent, and a healthier human.
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse as well as a former personal fitness trainer. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.