Spend time with your mate in recreation and working together. Do daily chores like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and washing -- practical things that will help you later in marriage, and see how your mate fares.

Watch to see how your mate treats his parents and friends.

Observe him when in company of other people.

Watch him unobserved.

Do not be hasty in your courtship. If there are flaws in person you are dating or flaws in relationship that you think you cannot live with; break it up.

But now, how do you know that you are ready for marriage?

Chapter Five “Those who are very young when they marry have three strikes against them.” --PROFESSOR MARCIA LASSWELL.

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Are you ready for marriage? Hold your answer until you know whether you are qualified to go into it. First, know that there is nothing like trial marriage. When God instituted first marriage between our first parents, Adam and Eve in garden of Eden, he did not tell them to try it first, and dump it afterward. It was for life; and nothing would break it excerpt adultery, or perhaps death. (Genesis 2: 18, 23, 24; Matthew 19: 3 -- 9) So know that this union is for life, and that you will even go through “tribulations” in course of marriage. -- 1 Corinthians 7: 28.

Now, how do you answer following questions:

Do I have great expectations?

That is first major problem. Because you are not going to see that Wonderland that you expected after honeymoon. The scales will fall from your eyes. Consider these life experiences.

”We thought that we could come and go, do as we pleased, . . . but it isn’t that way.”

“Many teenagers get married to play house. . . . but that’s not way it is.”

“After I got married I found out that great thrill of sex wears off very soon and then we started having real problems.”

So do not have great romantic expectations. Childhood marriages -- physical immaturity, may blur your vision and understanding of married life.

Am I ready for my roles?

Some people enter marriage without even knowing their roles in family. The husband fails to provide material support, and wife neglects her housekeeping role.

Married men are reported to be still hanging out late at night, drinking with friends, away from their wives. Even those who work hard to maintain family are frustrated. “This is hard work,” said one. “Will I ever get some relief?”

Can I solve money problems?

This is greatest cause of marital problems. Some can not provide money to support family, and where money is available, problem is overspending. In end, families have become heavily indebted, while others pack to live with their parents. In extreme cases, divorce becomes solution.

Do I have a compatible mate?

Being compatible does not mean that you and your partner must agree on everything under sun. Or that your mate should be able to play baseball since you are a baseball star. No.

But if you are miles apart on almost everything -- work, recreation, attitude, and beliefs, you should know that you are not equally matched.

Consider one woman who thought that her marriage must work because her partner was “so handsome, so strong, such a good athlete and very popular.” Was she being realistic? No. She was dreaming of Shangri-La, or building castles in air, as they say. The marriage collapsed!

Have I thoroughly examined myself?

So ask yourself if you are type that can make vows and keep them. Ask if your goals in life will affect your marriage. Find out if you can support or manage a household. Check to see if you are mature to handle trials that will surface later in marriage.

If your answers are positive, if you think that you have physical, mental and spiritual maturity to go into marriage, then ask yourself this question; what are keys to family happiness? Do you know them?

Now, let’s see.

(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)

ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: http://controversialwriter.tripod.com mailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.com Web search: Arthur Zulu

While husband is advancing himself vocationally, or rising in his company, wife busies herself getting up church suppers and organizing flower shows which consume her time and energy, but do not show up in either pay check or her vocational standing.

Yet such advantages are not always enough to keep husband ahead. If difference in ability is marked, it speedily becomes known.

Such a situation may be concealed by a polite little conspiracy to maintain fiction of male superiority, but everyone knows to whom to go, to get things done. In our day this fiction is becoming more difficult to maintain.

More and more wives are going back to work as soon as their children are old enough to be left by themselves, and are getting real money and recognition.

In some instances, wife will outstrip her husband. The problem often becomes a real issue at time when her income exceeds his.

My feeling is that soundest marriages are those in which husband and wife are on about same level of intelligence. We may think that problem will be serious, only if girl is markedly superior, but this is by no means necessarily true. The girl who marries a man who is intellectually far superior may face problems quite as serious. She will be safer if she chooses a man more nearly on her own level, so that through years relationship can most easily be maintained.

There is just as much chance that wife will be superior to husband, as other way around. All who marry should face this fact. Actually there is no more justification for a man feeling embarrassed because his wife is superior, than there is for a wife to feel embarrassed because her husband excels her.

In any case, character and personality are far more important, provided each of couple is intelligent enough to do a good job.