Successful Dating and Marriage (1)

Written by Arthur Zulu

Continued from page 1

But these are small things compared torepparttar permanent relationship of marriage. Yetrepparttar 105648 only requirement inrepparttar 105649 marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.

However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?

Failed Expectations

People think of marriage as a kind of fiction story whererepparttar 105650 characters "live happily ever after." But it is never so. Becauserepparttar 105651 great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.


You may also discover afterrepparttar 105652 marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden beforerepparttar 105653 marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of "if I had known." (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)


Your Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and "war."


It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: "I am no longer interested." And thenrepparttar 105654 marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner thatrepparttar 105655 "game" is up!


Do not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It doesrepparttar 105656 opposite, says Paul Gettyrepparttar 105657 American millionaire.

Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture? Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays inrepparttar 105658 Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts inrepparttar 105659 Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you inrepparttar 105660 face? What will you do?


You may find out thatrepparttar 105661 love you had for your mate now begins to drop when children start coming in. The reason may be that you no longer have time for each other, or your mate is now getting old. Is it time to sue for divorce?


It may vex you to find out that you are living with an infidel, a betrayal of trust, and not a friend and confidant. Now, suppose you find out that your mate lied to you about his or her history beforerepparttar 105662 marriage? Or what if you find that your mate was cheating on you -- committing adultery?


Suppose your partner starts depriving you of sex? Or what if sex, which was supposed for enjoyment now becomes mechanical? Some have even used sex as a bargain tool : Buy me a Swiss gold watch, and I will give you sex!

Some wives have woken up afterrepparttar 105663 wedding day to find out that their husbands were impotents, or eunuchs. Husbands have also been told by their wives that they would die if they had sex together. Because they have husbands who satisfy their sexual desires inrepparttar 105664 spirit world! What would you call that?


This may also affect your marriage depending on where you live. Barrenness, miscarriages, unseen attacks, deaths and broken marriages have been supposedly caused by wicked spirits. Does this bother you? Maybe not. But know that wicked spirits exist.


If you allow your in-laws to intrude into your family, they may ruin your marriage. Both of you are now one, and should be able to solve your marital problems without frequenting your parents, or relations for advice.


What kinds of associates do you and your mate have? Are they unwholesome friends? They will not help your marriage. Know that bad company can corrupt good manners.

These are some ofrepparttar 105665 things may shipwreck a marriage. They may not berepparttar 105666 case with your family. But know that there is no perfect family on this earth. So there must be one kind of problem orrepparttar 105667 other in your family. Now what are required to make a marriage successful?

To be continued


ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: mailto: Web search: Arthur Zulu

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and pubished writer.

Successful Dating and Marriage (2)

Written by Arthur Zulu

Continued from page 1

Spend time with your mate in recreation and working together. Do daily chores like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and washing -- practical things that will help you later inrepparttar marriage, and see how your mate fares.

Watch to see how your mate treats his parents and friends.

Observe him when inrepparttar 105647 company of other people.

Watch him unobserved.

Do not be hasty in your courtship. If there are flaws inrepparttar 105648 person you are dating or flaws inrepparttar 105649 relationship that you think you cannot live with; break it up.

But now, how do you know that you are ready for marriage?

Chapter Five “Those who are very young when they marry have three strikes against them.” --PROFESSOR MARCIA LASSWELL.


Are you ready for marriage? Hold your answer until you know whether you are qualified to go into it. First, know that there is nothing like trial marriage. When God institutedrepparttar 105650 first marriage between our first parents, Adam and Eve inrepparttar 105651 garden of Eden, he did not tell them to try it first, and dump it afterward. It was for life; and nothing would break it excerpt adultery, or perhaps death. (Genesis 2: 18, 23, 24; Matthew 19: 3 -- 9) So know that this union is for life, and that you will even go through “tribulations” in course ofrepparttar 105652 marriage. -- 1 Corinthians 7: 28.

Now, how do you answerrepparttar 105653 following questions:

Do I have great expectations?

That isrepparttar 105654 first major problem. Because you are not going to see that Wonderland that you expected afterrepparttar 105655 honeymoon. The scales will fall from your eyes. Consider these life experiences.

”We thought that we could come and go, do as we pleased, . . . but it isn’t that way.”

“Many teenagers get married to play house. . . . but that’s notrepparttar 105656 way it is.”

“After I got married I found out thatrepparttar 105657 great thrill of sex wears off very soon and then we started having real problems.”

So do not have great romantic expectations. Childhood marriages -- physical immaturity, may blur your vision and understanding of married life.

Am I ready for my roles?

Some people enter marriage without even knowing their roles inrepparttar 105658 family. The husband fails to provide material support, andrepparttar 105659 wife neglects her housekeeping role.

Married men are reported to be still hanging out late at night, drinking with friends, away from their wives. Even those who work hard to maintainrepparttar 105660 family are frustrated. “This is hard work,” said one. “Will I ever get some relief?”

Can I solve money problems?

This isrepparttar 105661 greatest cause of marital problems. Some can not provide money to supportrepparttar 105662 family, and where money is available,repparttar 105663 problem is overspending. Inrepparttar 105664 end, families have become heavily indebted, while others pack to live with their parents. In extreme cases, divorce becomesrepparttar 105665 solution.

Do I have a compatible mate?

Being compatible does not mean that you and your partner must agree on everything underrepparttar 105666 sun. Or that your mate should be able to play baseball since you are a baseball star. No.

But if you are miles apart on almost everything -- work, recreation, attitude, and beliefs, you should know that you are not equally matched.

Consider one woman who thought that her marriage must work because her partner was “so handsome, so strong, such a good athlete and very popular.” Was she being realistic? No. She was dreaming of Shangri-La, or building castles inrepparttar 105667 air, as they say. The marriage collapsed!

Have I thoroughly examined myself?

So ask yourself if you arerepparttar 105668 type that can make vows and keep them. Ask if your goals in life will affect your marriage. Find out if you can support or manage a household. Check to see if you are mature to handle trials that will surface later inrepparttar 105669 marriage.

If your answers are positive, if you think that you haverepparttar 105670 physical, mental and spiritual maturity to go into marriage, then ask yourself this question; what arerepparttar 105671 keys to family happiness? Do you know them?

Now, let’s see.


ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: mailto: Web search: Arthur Zulu

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and published authro.

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