But these are small things compared to permanent relationship of marriage. Yet only requirement in marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.

However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?

Failed Expectations

People think of marriage as a kind of fiction story where characters "live happily ever after." But it is never so. Because great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.

Incompatibility

You may also discover after marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden before marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of "if I had known." (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)

Conflict

Your Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and "war."

Apathy

It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: "I am no longer interested." And then marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner that "game" is up!

Money

Do not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It does opposite, says Paul Getty American millionaire.

Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture? Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays in Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts in Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you in face? What will you do?

Parenthood

You may find out that love you had for your mate now begins to drop when children start coming in. The reason may be that you no longer have time for each other, or your mate is now getting old. Is it time to sue for divorce?

Deceit

It may vex you to find out that you are living with an infidel, a betrayal of trust, and not a friend and confidant. Now, suppose you find out that your mate lied to you about his or her history before marriage? Or what if you find that your mate was cheating on you -- committing adultery?

Sex

Suppose your partner starts depriving you of sex? Or what if sex, which was supposed for enjoyment now becomes mechanical? Some have even used sex as a bargain tool : Buy me a Swiss gold watch, and I will give you sex!

Some wives have woken up after wedding day to find out that their husbands were impotents, or eunuchs. Husbands have also been told by their wives that they would die if they had sex together. Because they have husbands who satisfy their sexual desires in spirit world! What would you call that?

Superstition

This may also affect your marriage depending on where you live. Barrenness, miscarriages, unseen attacks, deaths and broken marriages have been supposedly caused by wicked spirits. Does this bother you? Maybe not. But know that wicked spirits exist.

In-laws

If you allow your in-laws to intrude into your family, they may ruin your marriage. Both of you are now one, and should be able to solve your marital problems without frequenting your parents, or relations for advice.

Friends

What kinds of associates do you and your mate have? Are they unwholesome friends? They will not help your marriage. Know that bad company can corrupt good manners.

These are some of things may shipwreck a marriage. They may not be case with your family. But know that there is no perfect family on this earth. So there must be one kind of problem or other in your family. Now what are required to make a marriage successful?

To be continued

(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)

ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: http://controversialwriter.tripod.com mailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.com Web search: Arthur Zulu

Spend time with your mate in recreation and working together. Do daily chores like shopping, cooking, cleaning, and washing -- practical things that will help you later in marriage, and see how your mate fares.

Watch to see how your mate treats his parents and friends.

Observe him when in company of other people.

Watch him unobserved.

Do not be hasty in your courtship. If there are flaws in person you are dating or flaws in relationship that you think you cannot live with; break it up.

But now, how do you know that you are ready for marriage?

Chapter Five “Those who are very young when they marry have three strikes against them.” --PROFESSOR MARCIA LASSWELL.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Are you ready for marriage? Hold your answer until you know whether you are qualified to go into it. First, know that there is nothing like trial marriage. When God instituted first marriage between our first parents, Adam and Eve in garden of Eden, he did not tell them to try it first, and dump it afterward. It was for life; and nothing would break it excerpt adultery, or perhaps death. (Genesis 2: 18, 23, 24; Matthew 19: 3 -- 9) So know that this union is for life, and that you will even go through “tribulations” in course of marriage. -- 1 Corinthians 7: 28.

Now, how do you answer following questions:

Do I have great expectations?

That is first major problem. Because you are not going to see that Wonderland that you expected after honeymoon. The scales will fall from your eyes. Consider these life experiences.

”We thought that we could come and go, do as we pleased, . . . but it isn’t that way.”

“Many teenagers get married to play house. . . . but that’s not way it is.”

“After I got married I found out that great thrill of sex wears off very soon and then we started having real problems.”

So do not have great romantic expectations. Childhood marriages -- physical immaturity, may blur your vision and understanding of married life.

Am I ready for my roles?

Some people enter marriage without even knowing their roles in family. The husband fails to provide material support, and wife neglects her housekeeping role.

Married men are reported to be still hanging out late at night, drinking with friends, away from their wives. Even those who work hard to maintain family are frustrated. “This is hard work,” said one. “Will I ever get some relief?”

Can I solve money problems?

This is greatest cause of marital problems. Some can not provide money to support family, and where money is available, problem is overspending. In end, families have become heavily indebted, while others pack to live with their parents. In extreme cases, divorce becomes solution.

Do I have a compatible mate?

Being compatible does not mean that you and your partner must agree on everything under sun. Or that your mate should be able to play baseball since you are a baseball star. No.

But if you are miles apart on almost everything -- work, recreation, attitude, and beliefs, you should know that you are not equally matched.

Consider one woman who thought that her marriage must work because her partner was “so handsome, so strong, such a good athlete and very popular.” Was she being realistic? No. She was dreaming of Shangri-La, or building castles in air, as they say. The marriage collapsed!

Have I thoroughly examined myself?

So ask yourself if you are type that can make vows and keep them. Ask if your goals in life will affect your marriage. Find out if you can support or manage a household. Check to see if you are mature to handle trials that will surface later in marriage.

If your answers are positive, if you think that you have physical, mental and spiritual maturity to go into marriage, then ask yourself this question; what are keys to family happiness? Do you know them?

Now, let’s see.

(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)

ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows! and How to Write a Best-seller. For his works and free helps for writers, goto: http://controversialwriter.tripod.com mailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.com Web search: Arthur Zulu