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Knowing your own limitations is probably paramount to all of this. Nothing is more undermining than knowing you have overreached yourself, or under performed, or attempted something way too difficult and looked stupid. You are going to feel a bit lower than usual, so dont expect miracles. Set yourself achievable things to do each day. If you genuinely feel you cannot possibly do something and are not chickening out, then get
best person you can suited to
task to help, but its best to try yourself, if at all possible as this builds knowledge even if you arent too brilliant
first time, and knowledge builds up confidence, an upward spiral.
Being calm under pressure and making logical reasoned decisions may seem very smug things to say, and very difficult things to actually achieve. These both come down to being able to devote sufficient time to a given problem. You are not in a race, but it seems that way as there is so much adrenaline, yet thinking time often halves working time, and clear thinking brings relief from stress quicker than rushing on headlong and poorly directed. Many people have devoted much time and energy to time management, but its not just mumbo jumbo. I find I use lists. and I use a personal organiser now, where I used to rely on my memory, but its all one and
same. A task is a task and for you it takes a set time to achieve, which gets longer as we get older, so we must not get annoyed when we cant do it as quickly or efficiently as we used to do when younger. Nevertheless it still takes a finite time, we should be aware of that and calm down to allow that time for that task. If in doubt then constructively and positively think for a while, rather than carry on regardless. A cup of tea can take five minutes, but
thinking can save you fifty. Often it was hurtling along at breakneck pace and ever increasing workload that created
problem in
first place, all
more reason to sit back a little and take stock of where we are, before yet again zooming off at a tangent. Often its only when you break away from
backing you can see you were stuck in
mould, and can see in
quiet and still where
frantic and noisy were headed. Just as nothing good lasts forever, then so nothing bad does either, this WILL go away eventually, leaving you stronger and more confident to face
future.
Just as drink or drugs is a day at a time, so problems are a finite bit by bit at a time.
Remember, we ALL have serious problems. We ALL get through them ok.
Never start thinking I deserve this, I have been bad, I should have done things differently, I am unworthy due to
way ive lived my life. This is now, you are now, even if you have been bad news you can sort it, and start to be a useful person, now. Be positive for once in your life, this is grim, but I am going to get through it no matter what.
And you will.
Also remember, no one said life was fair, it isnt. Bloody awful things happen to very nice people.
I have lost friends and I still cant really grasp they are gone, I guess I find this
hardest to cope with as its
one you can do
least about, but I know they wouldnt want me moping about, any more than ill want anyone moping over me, long live wakes. Plus harping over
past ignores todays friends and family, who are still here and need you too.
This might read a bit antiseptic. For 1 do this, for 2 do that, but in a way you have to try to break it down that way to deal with it, as it can seem overwhelming as a whole but achievable in bits. Cathedrals are made of stones.
There are no easy solutions, but sleep, organisation, time management, and a calm positive attitude will go a long way to sorting things out.
Also, identifying unachievable tasks and ignoring them in favour of things you can directly do and affect will be instantly productive and ease
pressure quickly, however most of all you have to realise that at
end of
day, it is your problem and chances are YOU are going to have to sort it out, sometimes alone.
But you WILL sort it out, with belief in yourself.
Also, sadly, there is only so much you can do for friends, before they too have to start helping themselves. Many will have you tearing yourself to pieces on their behalf, who would do very little to help you in turn.
This might sound harsh, but there is a limit to how much you can help someone before they become dependent on your help for evermore. This doesnt help them anyway, as from what has been said before, they only gain by experiencing
pleasure of overcoming their own demons, and
pride and confidence this gives them in having done so relatively unaided.
Help people to help themselves, they will be better able then to help you help yourself in
future.
Its a cruel world, sometimes there is just you between you and oblivion.
But that should be enough.
You can win.
When all I had was turning bad, When night seemed endless dark, When fire died deep down inside, And cried out for a spark, When all seemed, dire bad dreams, Through every tormented hour, And I seemed small, viewed overall, Puny against great power, Then I regained my former flame, Kindled against these mighty forces, Though alone, all on my own, Against fates cavalry and horses, Twas then my power seized
hour, And
nightmare ran off screaming, It was purely me that set me free, Though I may only have been dreaming.
Stress management has been tried by people http://www.stiffsteiffs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

ex systems programmer living in Rubery.