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I say stressing can be motivating. Many of us perform at our peak level when we have that adrenalin rush moving through our veins. Anyone who has ever waited until
last minute to study for a test or complete a project knows what I’m talking about here.
Stressing can also be a way of telling others they better back off. I know when I felt stress, it was my unconscious goal to let my boss know she had better not ask me to do one more thing or I just might lose it! I would send out signals of overwhelm---lots of sighing, threatening looks, irritability, loss of humor. I have to admit that since I didn’t do it very often, it was quite effective. Whenever I was stressed, my boss generally left me alone to do my work.
Stressing can also get us help we need. When message is out there, others may rally around us to support us. People may actually offer to do some things for us so we can reduce overwhelm.
Another possible benefit is that stressing can provide us with recognition. People may say, "Wow, look at _____________. I don't know how he/she gets all that done. It's amazing!" There are some who appreciate this positive recognition.
One final thought on stressing benefits. . . When we stress long enough, we may develop physical symptoms. In Choice Theory, Dr. Glasser tells us that are behavior is total, meaning it is comprised of four inseparable component---the action, our thoughts, our feelings and physiology of our body or whatever our body is doing at that moment. When we don’t take care of managing our stress levels, our physiology takes over and creates physical symptoms for us. Now remember, I said all behavior is purposeful and physiology is a part of total behavior. Do you understand purpose of physical symptoms that accompany prolonged stress? Of course, it is our body’s way of telling us we have to stop or slow down. It produces physical symptoms that are hard to ignore. When we attend to them, we get rest we need and therefore reduce stress. Can you see how all behavior is purposeful?
If you are experiencing effects of stress in your life, I am not suggesting that you are to blame. What I am saying is that up until this point, you have been doing absolutely best you know how, consciously or unconsciously to get something you want by stressing. If you can pinpoint what benefit(s) of stress is/are to you, then you can look at ways to get what you need without having to stress.
To learn about stress management, visit www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and check our events calendar for upcoming teleclasses, chats and workshops.
Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. She also helps people improve the quality of their relationships with the important people in their lives.
