It’s Time for a Behavior Check The fact is that children learn from modeled behaviors. While it is true that some children are, as media says, “out-of-control,” they did not end up that way by themselves. Children are who they are because of their environment. They learn how to act by watching people who are closest to them. The behaviors they see are behaviors they will take on. This being said, if we truly want to help a child make a change for better, we must first take a good, long look at our own actions and behaviors. Ask yourself following questions: ·What kind of behaviors am I displaying in front of children? ·Are these same behaviors I want them to show toward others?

It is Up to Us Fortunately, alternatives to authoritarian behaviors exist. We are not powerless in our struggle for social change. Many child advocates not only speak out against these behaviors, but they also offer effective solutions that create physically and emotionally healthy children. World-renowned experts and authors such as Alfie Kohn, Beyond Discipline, From Compliance to Community; Roger Schank, Coloring Outside The Lines; and David Elkind, The Hurried Child are social heroes of our time. They have been speaking out against injustices of our system for many years, and their wisdom is bringing about a social change we desperately need. The problems with America’s children may seem overwhelming at times, but there are proven solutions. By changing our childcare practices and behaviors, we can restructure our nation’s intellectual, economic, physical, political, moral, and emotional values. Children are at mercy of people responsible for their care. Instead of speaking out against our children, we need to be friendly with them, and speak up for them. It is up to us to make a difference in their lives.

For each of these questions, parents must extend fantasy (i.e. generate more lies) to keep myth alive just a little longer. While these adults think it's okay to deceive children when it is for their own good, it may actually harm them.

Whether they finally figure it out for themselves or their parents confess truth about Santa, children experience sadness, regrets and often, a sense of betrayal. Their parents—the adults whom they had trusted most—lied to them. What good is a short-term fantasy if it damages a child’s core sense of trust?

Santa Claus is Coming to Town Parents need not do away with Santa experience all together. A fun and emotionally safe alternative to traditional myth is Santa Claus Game. In Santa game everyone pretends that Santa is real. This enables everyone to enjoy all activities that others enjoy. The main difference is that your children understand that Santa is just pretend.

You can introduce game during pre-school years. Of course, at this age children are too young to truly understand difference between pretend and real. But you can take them to visit Santa and do all Santa related activities children like to do. From time to time you can say things like, “This Santa game is fun!” You can even put out milk and cookies for “Santa,” again explaining that it’s just pretend.

As children get older and want to know more, explain that in this pretend game Santa has magic and can do all amazing things that people talk about. Talk about Santa in a fairytale, magical kind of fashion. The fact that it is a game will not detract any pleasure from child’s fun.

By time children are five and six, you can stop emphasis on pretend factor. At that age they will still be excited to visit Santa and sit on his lap, even though they know it is all pretend. When children are ten and eleven years old, they can still get presents from Santa and many will still want to put out milk and cookies. The difference now is that they will have that “special twinkle” in their eyes when they ask, “What kind of cookies would Santa like this year?”

Eventually you won’t have to talk about it being a game anymore; you’ll simply have fun. And isn’t that what holiday spirit is all about?

Children are excellent at pretend games and enjoy them immensely. Even though Santa game is make-believe, it differs from traditional myth in a crucial way: All players know it is a game. Adults may then tell children that not all families play game and that some children don’t know it is a game. This information explains why Santa doesn’t come to all families, and why some children think Santa is real. It also clears up why some children don’t get what they want from Santa, even when they have been “good.”

Children who learn Santa game equally enjoy magic and excitement that others receive from traditional Santa experience. Most important, though, they don't suffer disillusionment and sense of betrayal of discovering that Santa isn’t real. So keep in mind that when you sing, “You better not lie, I am telling you why”—a child’s trust and happiness is at stake.

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