"But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," I protested.

At this point, Deadpan Clerk pulled from under desk a box big enough to hold almost half a pillow, and started rummaging helpfully through it to see if he could find a pillow. He could not, he announced.

In hospitality business, folks should know how to treat people hospitably, or so I thought. If that were case, I suppose I would never have written about Hotel Stella and Wicked Witch of Lido ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/Hotel-Stella.html ) or about paper-thin walls in many hotels these days ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/hotel-jokes.html ). OK, so latter was largely fiction, a desperate search for a column topic, but Hotel Stella torture story was 100% true.

Back at fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere, Deadpan Clerk proceeded to assure us that we were not only ones he mistreated. Phew, what a relief! In fact, just a few minutes earlier a man had come looking for an iron for his wife (probably for his wife's dress, as men rarely iron their wives, but Deadpan Clerk never clarified that).

He proudly related how he had explained to man that irons were not available after 4:00 p.m., unless he had one in his magic little box.

"But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," man protested.

He sent man back to inform his wife that she will have to attend dinner theatre in a dress looking like a prune (the dress, not wife...at least, not that we were aware of).

NOTE: Although no missing persons report has been filed, we did not see man again.

Deadpan Clerk was proudly informed us that he had sent man away without an iron. Apparently we did not rank high enough to deserve even their very worst customer service.

I should end this story on a happy note. But how? I escaped alive, along with strange woman I pass every day in hallway. It turns out she is my wife, go figure. And a most compassionate wife, too...she even helped Deadpan Clerk escape alive, too, at least until I return to fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere.

And why not? The appetite for intriguing, well-written (and well photographed) travel stories is virtually insatiable. e-Margaux site visitors want adventure. They want authentic. They want relevant. They want eccentric and quirky and funny. Most of all, e-Margaux.com attracts visitors who yearn for REAL experiences from REAL people.

You up to challenge? The storytellers featured at http://www.e-marginalia.com are! e-Marginalia showcases stories from a diverse group of travelers. Adventurers, sybarites, sophisticates and romantics. Wanderers all — wayward or cerebral, focused or quixotic — these travelers have returned with stories to enrapture and transport us. At least until we sally forth on our own adventures.