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Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it to her to break news to her personally. This means not on phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye contact and read your body language. The universal line of “ we need to talk.” should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming and helps soften blow a little bit. Do not put too much time between “We need to talk” and actual breakup as waiting time in between is very uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that relationship has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might help neutralize some of new sad ones.
Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. It is important to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying) than give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest you are not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel horrible.
Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try to get cozy with person as this can really mess with somebody’s head a lot as they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This is only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.
Robert Torrey is one of the trainers for Fidentia a company that teaches men dating confidence with live workshops. Go to www.fidentia.org for more info