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There are many possible reasons for a discrepancy in desire between partners. The first is biological. As I mentioned in statistics above, more than twice as many women than men have problems with sexual desire. This is because after infatuation phase of relationship, when hormones are running rampant, things settle down to natural biological rhythms. And biologically speaking, whoever has most testosterone has most desire.
HmmmÖ. I wonder which gender that is!
Other reasons relevant to both genders are performance anxiety, emotional pain in relationship, coerced intimacy, sex used as a bartering tool, lack of time, lack of energy, and fear of intimacy to name a few. These can be helped with an understanding therapist.
What you should do: first get complete medical exams to rule out any type of disease or medication causing problem.
What you can do: see a relationship expert or sex therapist who can help you experience pleasure and joy of intimate connection. You deserve no less.
Maggie Vlazny, MSW, LCSW copyright 2005 www.therapyct.com
Maggie is an Imago Relationship Therapist and RCI Singles Coach. Services offered by phone, online, or in person at her Fairfield County, CT office. For more information please seee www.therapyct.com or contact email@example.com