2. If a woman wants your food badly enough to eat some off your plate, why doesn’t she just order item in first place? That’s never made sense to me - I’ve even asked a couple of ladies in past why they didn’t just do that, and I was told, “I only want a little, and you should be glad that I want to be close enough to you that I even want to share food you eat.” Well, that sounds romantic and all, but here’s how it really works out. If a lady takes something from your plate, eats it, and likes it, she’s gonna knock a major hole in your helping. A major hole. The worst thing is, more she eats, more she’ll protest that she just wants a bite or two. Famous last words. You’ll end up with a plate with not much food on it, and she‘ll be so full that she falls asleep on you during trip back home. On other hand, if she takes something from your plate and doesn’t like it, she still leaves behind a small hole in your plate. Then, you have to deal with fact that your food is cold from all conversation that has occurred up to this point. Either way, you’re out of food, money, and are still hungry afterwards.

So ladies, I love ya’ll, but please stay hell away from my plate. We guys need a few things that we can enjoy alone - stuff like going to bathroom, ultimate fighting on TV, and food on our plates. If you ladies will promise not to interfere with these three things, then we’ll gladly promise to stay meek, hen-pecked, whupped types that ya’ll have come to know and love...

Ed’s new book, “Rough As A Cob,“ can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He’s also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.

Imitation diamonds, such as cubic zirconia, resemble diamonds in appearance but are much less costly since they are made in a laboratory. Other synthetics such as lab-created moissanite, also resemble diamonds and may not be detected by instruments used to identify cubic zirconia. Ask your jeweler if he has latest testing equipment to distinguish between real diamonds and lab-created stones.

Natural or "real" pearls are made by oysters and other mollusks. Cultured pearls are also grown by mollusks, but with human assistance: that is, an irritant introduced into shells causes a pearl to grow. Imitation pearls are completely man-made using glass, plastic or organic materials. Because natural pearls are very rare, most pearls used in jewelry are either cultured or imitation. Cultured pearls, because they are produced by mollusks, are usually more expensive that imitation pearls. A pearl's value is largely based on size, usually state in millimeters, and quality of its nacre coating, which gives it luster. Jewelers should tell you whether a pearl is imitation or cultured.

Some black, bronze, gold purple, blue and orange pearls, whether natural or cultured, occur that way in nature. Some, however, are dyed through various processes and jewelers should tell you whether colored pearls are naturally colored, dyed or irradiated.

When you're in market for a piece of jewelry for yourself or someone you love, shop around. Whether it is online, in catalogs or at a traditional store make comparisons. Compare quality, price, and service. Ask about refund and return policies before you buy. Check for appropriate markings on metal jewelry. And make sure you get a sales receipt containing any information you relied on when making your purchase.

Best wishes for an enjoyable and rewarding shopping experience!