“Yes, if you like them. Often, sexual attraction grows as you really get to know a person. Many of my clients with best relationships are people who were not immediately attracted to each other. The attraction grew as they fell in love with each other. Others, who were attracted immediately, lost their attraction as they got to know person.

“Many men can have sex and then just move on without any inner turmoil. Yet many women feel connected to a man when they have sex with him and then feel awful when relationship doesn’t work out. It is unloving to yourself to sleep with a man early in relationship and then run risk of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.

“Another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is often disappointing for both people. When you have sex too early in a relationship, it might not be emotionally or physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of love, it often feels empty, and then guy might decide that you are not right person for him because there were no fireworks. Yet if you had waited for love to develop, it might have been wonderful. You really have nothing to lose by waiting.”

“But,” replied Megan, “I always think that a man won’t like me if I don’t have sex with him.”

“Well, if you doesn’t like you for not having sex with him, what does this tell you about him?”

“I guess it tells me that he is not good husband material.”

“Right! So you have nothing to lose by not having sex right away.”

“Okay, I see that now. I see that what I’ve been doing is never going to lead to marriage. I’m going to put sex on back burner and pay more attention to caring and intimacy.”

Megan completely changed her pattern with men and within a year she was engaged to be married.

Then on 3 X 5 index cards, I want you to write each of your intention statements. You can tape them on your mirror, your computer screen, you can laminate one of them and carry it in your wallet. The point is to see your intentions everywhere you look. Not only will this be a constant reminder of things you are working on, it will create a sense of balance. If your intention where fun is concerned is to watch one sitcom and you are sitting at your computer working, and index card is on your computer screen, it will remind you to watch a sitcom.

By doing this exercise, you have come up with an action plan to create a balanced wheel. When your wheel is balanced, it is much easier for you to feel like you can do things. You have time for yourself, your family, your friends, and you even have time to do laundry. Taking action is they key. You’ve made first step by looking at what is lacking in your wheel to balance it out, but it’s what you do with it that is important.