Her new roommate was someone she had known in her old school, but they had not known each other well. The girls, or shall I call them young women, made most of their own arrangements and although they lived in different cities figured out how to drive several thousand miles they needed to go together.

My husband endlessly and obsessively fretted and worried about details that he knew they would have to deal with. He made lists that girls barely paid attention to as he worked out banking and travel links, downloaded map quest, and tried to instill a sense of order, all with little acknowledgment or thanks from qausi independent females. Our other children had been far more generous in their responses to our efforts, as had she in past, so girls’ behavior was difficult to take.

I focused on stressing academics, lecturing as little as possible and I tried to keep in check and remain silent about my constant terror surrounding their journey. ‘Do you have your charger for your cell phone’ was about as verbal as I got. Did I say it one hundred times, or just think it? I am not sure.

Finally big moment came. A good-bye celebratory lunch and off they went. Relieved, that they were on their way, I wanted to applaud how well my daughter had done. As her car pulled away, all too familiar feeling came over me. My heart broke and well-remembered September tears rained down my cheeks. She may be almost all grown up, but she’s still my baby. I imagine I will smile and cry during these bittersweet moments forever.

The house is quiet now -- and clean. Order has been restored. I tell myself I like quiet. And, I do. So why do I find reasons to go into her empty room so often? I guess I miss her presence, chaos and all. I imagine I always will.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

Single, you may realize you miss family. Divorced, second or third marriage, blended families, all that scheduling and even hard times with ex's or memories of “what might have been.” The poet T. S. Eliot claims April is cruelest month, but most of us in mental health profession would bet on January as being toughest.

For those for whom this down experience is not true, consider yourselves lucky. If all this doom and gloom seems self-serving and like a foreign concept, smile and get on with your New Year's resolutions. You can even feel a little prideful that you are not one of pack. For rest of you, know feeling a little blue is normal and that it will end.

Take some time for yourself, exercise, start your diet, curl up with a good book or a trashy novel. If you are wondering where to go for some extra help, be it psychological, medical, alternative or spiritual, you can even pick up or order Getting Sane Without Going Crazy. If you go directly to www.sanecrazy.com, I will personally inscribe book for you or person you want to give it to. Listen to your body, rest if that's what you need, or if you have been mush, get active. Get out, see a funny movie, hide away or visit close friends. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and please think as positively as you can. January only comes once a year and then it is over.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.