This is at heart of real confidence : ability to remain true to those values which you hold dear. A balanced, self-confident person is same in any company. The presence of high status individuals, or low status individuals, does not significantly change their responses or outward displays. A truly self confident person knows what they believe and can remain comfortable expressing their beliefs regardless of prevailing fashion.

Is this you? Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself in a group, with people from all strata of society? We all fall short of ideal, in this as in other aspects of our lives, but it is comforting to know that self confidence can be developed and nurtured.

Many thousands of people have taken Confidence Club questionnaire, which profiles a person’s strengths and weaknesses against 5 different dimensions of confidence. The questionnaire can be found here : http://www.confidenceclub.net/process/questionnaire.php

If you have ever found yourself wondering why your confidence seems to desert you in certain circumstances, take questionnaire and find out precisely where your strengths and weaknesses lie. You may be surprised by what you can learn about yourself.

Be well rounded Don’t neglect your interests. When was last time you did that hobby you love, listened to your favourite music, or went to theatre? Stay active; endorphins lift your spirits and staying healthy will make you feel better about yourself and your self-image. Take a pride in your appearance; it will do wonders for your self-confidence – when you know you look good, others notice. Walk tall. Avoid self-consciousness If you are self-conscious in a social situation focus on following: Just because you lack confidence doesn’t mean others can tell. Approach a group and introduce yourself. Ask questions and really listen to their answers Finding out about other people present will help make them (and you) feel more comfortable. §Slow down and concentrate on others rather than yourself.

Accept criticism If you are constantly saying things like ‘I’m no good at anything’ then you’re wrong. Self-esteem is not just about thinking positively about yourself all time, it is about being realistic and about not thinking badly about yourself for no reason. Criticism can be a positive thing. If we can learn to see positives of someone valuing us enough to give us honest feedback, or constructive criticism, we can improve our performance.

Set goals and meet them The process of looking forward, planning ahead, and accomplishing something can be very fulfilling.

Accept failure Failure is part of life. It is how you deal with it that sets you apart. Everyone gets knocked down at some time so real question is, will you get back up? “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” WINSTON CHURCHILL

Deal with a workplace bully Learning to deal with bullies in an assertive way is easier than you think. Once you challenge a bully in a calm but clear way you will realise how much better you feel about both bully and yourself. Feeling sorry for a bully, who after all lacks more appropriate tools and people skills necessary for modern workplace, will help you to remain calm. Challenging is easier than you think when you use a ‘feelings assertion’ such as: “When you shout at me in front of other people I feel very uncomfortable and I would much prefer to have this conversation later when we are both calmer - shall we say 11am by coffee machine.” Take time to practice and role-play situations and this will help you to remain calm in real situations. The Assertiveness two-day course detailed on this website is an ideal safe forum where you have opportunity to practice assertive interventions for real long-term behaviour change post-course.

And finally Remember that feeling healthy and good about yourself is not a luxury, it is an absolute necessity. Persevere with trying to raise your self-esteem and don’t expect massive changes all at once. Beating low self-esteem is a wonderful thing and it is easier than you think.

Sally Foan is available for group courses or one to one coaching and development; helping you to take helm of your future success.

Check out our website regularly for new free personal development tips which we post under button, FREE INFORMATION. View our website @ www.peopletreetraining.co.uk