One of things that self-judgment accomplishes is to keep you in a very old internal relationship. Because basis of most of these judgments is in childhood- when we were told how to behave, when a look made us feel there was something wrong with us and we better adjust ourselves quickly, when we learned standards that were expected of us, when we felt awkward and incapable – when these arise again we are energetically back in that situation and robbed of our power. So thrust of work with self-judgment is to finally cut that relationship – to bring support for yourself back home to you and not resident in a list of rules and regulations spoken or unspoken that told you who you were supposed to be.

In working with clients I have come up with an acronym that covers 5 of basic strategies of dis-engagement. The acronym is SPACE because that is what occurs when you are successful at stopping self-judgment – you have SPACE just to be who you are, SPACE to develop yourself, your real talents and what it is you want to do in world.

STRENGTH: Access your natural indignation when you recognize how damaging self-judgment is and toll it takes on your life and your aliveness. Use this STRENGTH to literally tell judgment to stop.

PLAY: When a self-judgment arises you can use humor to disarm it i.e. you can say to judgment “Yeah right I am stupidest person in whole area.” or “I only let bullies say that to me. Be absurd about it so there is nowhere for judgment to stick. Be like teflon not fly-paper.

AWARENESS: Use a sensing exercise to keep you present as self-judgment always accesses past or future. The more you are in present less a judgment can arise. Notice many ways in which self-judgment comes up and notice immense toll it takes on your aliveness, your creativity, and your joy. When you are feeling particularly tried, deflated, fearful, or anxious – look around and notice if there has been a self-judgment and find away to desist from it.

COMPASSION: Let yourself really be aware of pain that self-judgment creates in you and how it sets up situations that support belief of self-judgment. Notice it in others and how it damages them. Allow this recognition to bring up your natural compassion for anyone in pain and use it to support your determination to stop engaging in internal attacks.

ENVISION: Allow yourself to imagine what your life and you would be like if judgment were never around. Feel deep safety and support of that, feel aliveness that is present. Nourish yourself with this feeling and know that this is what you are creating in your life.

When you have successfully dis-engaged you can feel an energetic shift. You feel strong, intact, in moment and accepting of yourself- you feel freer. I believe this are of work is one of most important in developing satisfaction in your business and in your personal life. I have only skimmed surface in this short article. I invite you to attend a workshop or teleclass that will develop your skill in working with this issue.

If you live in Miami area. The workshop will be Saturday, February 26th , 10am-2pm. Click here for details. http://www.enflyer.com/app/file_root/1828/EnFlyers/72058.html For those not in area I will be offering it as a teleclass. A teleclass is a class conducted over phone. I reserve a bridge line which allows many people to call into same number. On this group call, I guide students through material and exercises. Our teleclass will be limited to three 60-minute calls. The dates are: Wednesday, February 23rd at 8pm EST Wednesday, March 2nd at 8pm EST Wednesday March 9th at 8pm EST Click here for more details http://www.enflyer.com/app/file_root/1828/EnFlyers/72058.html

“Feel truth of what you are and at same moment act. Risk yourself for what you know is right and true.”

Fredrick Douglas, escaped slave from an Independence Day speech

While working a Tuesday afternoon shift, she booked off duty early and went home because she had a small bruise on her leg that was causing her intense pain.

Later that same evening, she was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with flesh eating disease.

Wednesday her leg was operated on and it was learned that disease had spread into her other leg and abdomen.

Thursday she was given her last rights.

When I heard of this series of events, I was shocked and saddened. I listened to others saying, "How could this happen? She's young and so healthy."

I couldn't help but think to myself that her thoughts and negative feelings might have finally manifested themselves through her physically. Somehow I was not so surprised anymore by terrible news.

She remained in Intensive Care for many months and even though she was not expected to live more than four days from her diagnosis, she remains with us today.

She has very little left of her legs, endured numerous operations on several organs, and spent many months in physical, mental, spiritual and emotional agony. Many months passed before she was able to see her two young children.

I often think of her when I am inclined to react to certain situations in a negative way, or when I am tempted to fall into a negative pattern of complaining or criticizing.

One of great powers we have is power to choose, and when I’m faced with choice of complaining or making best of a situation, I take high road.

Do I do it consistently? Not always. After all, I am human and do make mistakes. But, every day I continue to strive to be better than I used to be.

What can you do today to create a more positive outlook on life?