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He was very emotionally closed after an awful divorce and would not let me in, at first. Instead of harping on fact that he wouldn't talk (you know how a woman's gotta talk), I let him be and just showed him that I could be trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt. When he realized this, he opened up and now let's me know if there's an issue.
When he comes home from an awful day at office (you can just SEE it on their faces, can't you?), I kiss him hello and leave him alone until he is calmer and comes to talk to me. Similarly, if I am in a crying mood, he lets me rant and just listens for a while. When I'm done he kisses me and wipes my tears. We have both learnt that figuring out what is a highly charged emotional state in one of us, needs to be treated in a way that will soothe other person, in order to keep harmony.
He knows that if he doesn't let me rant, I will be in a BADDD mood for a year or two, and I know that if I nag when he needs to calm down, I'll get silent treatment for a year or two.
So it basically comes down to study of Human Behavior. You have choice of two consequences of your actions. Choose result you wish to have and then act in a way that will produce that result. Give all love you have to give and it will be returned manyfold.
We are as happy as we are because we work at it. Do a little something every day that will strengthen your relationship.
Based on this principle, may all your relationships go way you consciously direct them and love will continue to make world go round :-)
Lisa van den Berg is the author of Alleviate-Stress - How to WIN at the Game of Life! She also publishes a weekly e-zine 'Empower Your Life!' that's filled with tips and techniques that will help you live the Life you deserve. Subscribe now at http://www.thealternativerookie.com !