He may not understand, but he learns quickly to explain himself. By adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I don't know" when asked about our behavior. There is a problem with that, though. How can we ever learn true causes if we already accept our explanations?

Accepting Our Ignorance

A better way to approach these issues is to get in habit of saying "I don't know." You can follow it with "Maybe it's because of..." and let explanations spill out, but don't be too quick to accept any of them. Understand that it isn't always necessary to explain.

For example, even if you never know why you avoid a certain person, isn't it better to leave question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of self-justification? Leave questions unanswered, and you may someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick stop in your thinking.

Self-explanation can be death of self-understanding. Learn to accept your ignorance, and to keep observing yourself. Just say, "I don't know."

If you’ve made it completely through these steps, you are ready to go to fourth and final step. If confusion or uncertainty still exists, marinate a little longer in first three steps, especially self-acceptance.

4) Clear intention followed by focused action: Now is time to modify your thoughts, actions and words for a positive outcome! You know exactly what to do now. It is compelling and you act without hesitation. You alter way you show up in world, which in turn modifies response you get.

This is a self-generating process, because as you feel high you get from step four, you are eager about going back to start and do it once more around a new issue. It gives you thrill to keep going!

Honor your own “square-peggedness” by being who you truly are! It will transform your life into one of ease and joy.