Highlighting what’s right builds up, rather than tears down. Constant criticism diminishes self-esteem. This is why verbal and emotional abuse can be so damaging. No one wants to start or end their day with a laundry list of complaints. Take time to appreciate what’s going right in relationship. Make it a habit of complimenting each other on something besides physical appearance. Build up each other’s confidence. Point out noteworthy or small tokens of appreciation. Take time to show gratitude. When people feel good, they want to share that feeling with others.

Listen If we spoke less and listened more, it would eliminate many of our communication problems. However, humans are conditioned to listen with intent to respond. When was last time you listened attentively to your significant other? Do you listen and then try to solve a problem? Do you listen and then offer advice? Do you listen and then criticize or belittle? Do you listen and then self-reference? When you listen, it builds trust. Your significant other feels understood and will share more with you over time. The next time you see your significant other in a contemplative state, tell them you’re available to listen.

Let Go Of Emotional Baggage It’s time to unpack your emotional baggage. You can not undo past. Bringing past pain into a present relationship is like mixing dirty clothes with laundered clothes. The old emotions need to be resolved before you can be yourself in your current relationship. Emotional baggage contributes to insecurities, poor judgment, cynicism and indecisiveness. Trying to protect your feelings will hinder your freedom and growth. Think about why you continue to allow yourself to suffer with this pain? Is there someone you need to forgive? Are you carrying around resentment and guilt? Talk about situation with your significant other, so they can have a better understanding of what you are going through. If pain is too unbearable, seek professional help together or alone.

So, let your mind wander anywhere it wants. And, stop fretting about "to do" list" you just turfed along with your bleeping digital devices. Besides, when you do this, you create oodles of space for something you dearly yearn for, peace of mind.

Now that you're feeling all warm and fuzzy, maybe try a bit of doodling, humming, whistling, or even tapping your toes. And, if you really get urge to move, just put on your favorite walking shoes and putter anywhere you like. Talk to plants and animals if you wish, and if you've got gumption, why not strangers ... you just might enjoy what happens without any strings attached.

Lollygagging is all about "being" comfortable with yourself, in your own space and time. Forget all about doing things to win brownie points, gold stars, and frequent flyer miles. Unless you like trying to fit square holes into round pegs, just chill out, powder down, and enjoy life outside blessed box.

And, when someone asks you what you're doing for next five minutes, hour, or day...tell them your taking up lost art of lollygagging. Then watch them furrow their brow as you wink, smile, and walk away.