OK, you have nothing in common. They were miserable and close-mouthed. Nothing good came from it. Good. You now know that you made effort and can rest comfortably with that. Next step, ask them for a meeting in office. This takes courage, but, how much courage is it currently taking just to show up every day? However, this is not a 'let-me-fix-you' type of meeting. Prepare for meeting by creating a list of open-ended questions that will hopefully create discussion between you such as "How can we improve relationship between us?" "What can we do to work together more collaboratively?" Signify your willingness to create a workable relationship.

What is other person is not even mildly interested in conversing about change? That is when you have a decision to make. Live with it, or take it to next level. The next level involves bringing a third person into conversation, a person who is willing to manage situation because it is in best interest of workplace. A mediator may be offered. There may be other people on your team who are experiencing same difficulties with same person. This makes change more imperative for your superior. Point out benefits of managing this issue to company.

No matter how it seems, no one really likes conflict. Some people create it because it makes them feel they have a modicum of control. Others create it as a cover for how little they are doing. Others have their own reasons and needs for keeping things in an uproar. You, though, are always at choice. You can always do something to remove tension even if it means making a career shift. Sometimes, it's worth it, but only after you have done everything in your power to improve things. Confrontation is not a four-letter word!

How do you want to be seen in workplace? As competent, confident and valuable, or, as adequate, mediocre and expendable? Unless you are working for Attila, Hun, way folks see you is mostly in your control. Good employees come to work on time, do their tasks well, and cause few waves. Great employees do all that and more. They are focused on company's mission and vision. They can be excellent team-players and excellent leaders when needed. They are clear about their own purposes and visions and know why they have chosen to work where they work. They care about others and help them to achieve their goals. They do these things because it clearly moves them further along their career paths. It is in their own best interest to do so. They have their 'eyes on prize'.

Here's a few secrets. Many folks would rather complain about things than fix them. By being a 'fixer', you are being 'value-added'. Many folks would rather find fault than good. By catching people doing things well and commenting on it, you are being 'value-added'. Many folks would rather see what they can get away with than see what they can give. By giving just a little more than expected, you honor yourself and you are being 'value-added'. Many folks would rather feel 'done wrong' than state their needs and boundaries. By being clearly communicating what you need and want, you are saving time and energy...and being 'value-added'.

Which side of these equations are you working from? Only one will get you where you want to go...although you'll have much more company on other. Your choice!