RitualsWritten by Jean Johnson
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Personal rituals, family rituals, public rituals . . . we need them for stability and relatedness. Church is a ritual . . . so is Super Bowl. We like rituals! And it is a place we can be creative. Create what feels good for you and yours. Rituals can change. For years I threw a “Chili Bowl” party on Super Bowl Sunday. I made a ton of chili and had “the gang” over and we watched game. It was fun. But as my friends began having kids and my first marriage ended it wasn’t a ritual I wanted to continue. After I remarried I began a different ritual. My honey and I have super sex - then we watch Super Bowl - just two of us. It works! And its fun too! Rituals will change as people and families change. Easter egg hunts go by way-side as children grow (although my adult daughter still expects a chocolate bunny each year! Rituals!) Most recently we’ve decided to “re-ritual” Christmas. We are a small family: my husband, daughter, bonus son, my mother, and myself. In past we have had Christmas Eve dinner, sat around and talked, gotten up early on Christmas morning, opened gifts, had breakfast, cooked a turkey, had dinner . . . whole day was kind of anti-climatic . . .and long . . . and way too food oriented. This year my daughter suggested we do it differently next year. Have turkey on Christmas Eve, open gifts, sleep late next morning, have breakfast, and then just hang out - go to a movie, rent a movie, visit friends, what ever - NO EXPECTATIONS - so next year we will try something new. How about you . . . what ritual can you re-define, revise, rediscover, or re-create to give meaning and harmony to your day or week? Try it. Ritual. Ritual, however, is not same as RUT! Notice if you are actually performing a ritual (it’s soothing, creative, meaningful) . . . or are you in a rut? (Non-thinking, zoned-out, meaningless.) If it is a rut - DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! We get in a rut when we always do things in same way. Drive to work same route every day (who cares if it is shortest or fastest?) You always use same meatloaf recipe, you make love because it is day you always make love; you do Christmas a certain way because you always have. That is a rut. If it doesn’t cause delight, discovery or desirability - it is a rut - not ritual - CHANGE IT!
Jean Johnson, one time single working mom, is now a full-time coach and writer specializing in women’s issues, especially those involving transitions, spirituality and finding your purpose, passion and pizzazz in life. Jean can be reached at jeanjohnson@cuttothechasecoaching.com, or check out her website at www.cuttothechasecoaching.com.
| | Shopping is Great … Just Don’t be the Bait …The Top 7 Precautions Criminals Want Women to NEVER Learn.Written by Michelle Annese
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5.Is my vehicle in a well-lit area? Is it easily visible to passer-bys? If I can’t see my car really well, who can? Criminals say they do not want to be noticed, recognized, or slowed down in any way. If you’re not easily seen by others at a mall or store, that makes you a perfect target for a criminal. 6.If I have automatic keyless entry, did I hit unlock button twice … making it easy for someone to get into my passenger side door? Get into habit of opening just your driver’s side door. New technology is wonderful when you’re with others, loading packages, during day. But, at night when your field of vision is limited, don’t take any chances. Criminals are hoping that you’ll make their job easier for them. 7.If I am approached by someone – no matter how much help I need, it’s OK to turn them down. Remember, criminals will do and say anything they can to gain your trust. DON”T FALL FOR IT!!! If a stranger wants to help you with your bags, tell them no, thank you. If they still insist, tell them no again. Criminal interviews revealed that they will try to play on a victim heartstrings to get access to vehicle, a purse, or for vehicle keys - and move-in for attack when trust is gained and it’s at least expected. If you are unable to load packages into your vehicle, ask help from store – they would be glad to help. It’s their job. Want more? To keep up to date with criminal tactics and learn some of best self-defense tips available, go to www.michelleannese.com for more ways to protect yourself and what we need to teach our mothers and daughters about safety.
Michelle Annese is a 3rd degree Black Belt with 15 years of experience in the martial arts. She teaches programs and seminars around the country. Ms. Annese was inducted into the martial arts hall of fame in 2000. Ms. Annese is the author of "The Realtor Survival Guide". For more safety strategies go to www.michelleannese.com
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