So, in working on this resource, I learned something valuable for myself. I am coming to my senses! A boundary is no good at all if it only works when things are easy. The fence has got to hold up to resistance or it is no fence at all. And base reason why we can’t hold our own in these emotional situations is fear. “If I do this, what will happen?” Well, we can’t control anyone but ourselves, and we can’t control outside situations! If I have to live inside this fence then I need to make it be as comfortable for myself in there as possible. Because I deserve to be happy, empowered and at peace. And so do you!

When you learn that you are just as deserving of respect as anyone else, you will begin to build your boundary/fence, and to hold to it. If your fence needs to be ridden to find areas that are weak or down, do it. The rewards are immeasurable, and consequences of a weak boundary are a life that is less than you deserve.

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It is unrealistic to expect someone to change for you. If you are in a less-than ideal relationship, then decision that you need to be making is whether you can live with this person or situation, as it is right now, for rest of your life. If you can’t, then it may be time to let go of it.

Trying to change people is a subtle form of control. You are trying to alter a person based on your desires. It never works. People change because it is in their own best interests to do so. It is a very selfish and personal thing; it has to be to work.

Relinquishing desire to control is a huge step forward in your personal development. Learning that only thing in life that you can control is yourself is first step to empowerment. If you need it, get help with this. Go get therapy, hire a coach or join a co-dependency group.

When you abandon wish for better, and begin to change yourself so that you experience better, then and only then will your life change.

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You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as resource box is included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.