B. You-Message: Use this approach when you want to reflect to your listener what you're observing. [Reflect emotion.] (Identify and name emotion you are observing.)

(Call person by name), "You seem happy, angry, mad, excited, etc. ... "

C. Active Listening: Use this approach when you want to let someone know that you're truly paying attention. Do so by totally involving your eyes, ears, and body. Pay attention to his body language, move close, cup your hand over your ear, lean forward, etc.

D. Paraphrasing: Use this approach when you want to make sure you did not miss what was said. "So, if I understood you correctly, you said there were only 5 spaces."

E. Summarizing: Use this approach when you want to break up lengthy conversations into smaller pieces that you can remember and understand. Rather than let other person ramble on about what all he did last weekend, take control by asking to tell you about each day's events before moving on next.

Put it all together. Begin SOARING to top of Mountain when you:

* Summarize when conversation is becoming too lengthy.

* Observe to see if body language matches words spoken.

* Actively listen to what is being said by making eye contact.

* Reflect what you thought you heard.

* Indicate that you truly care about doer and not deed.

* Name misconduct to bring it out into open.

* Go beyond emotions to get to facts.

Remember: When you maximize your potential; we all win. When you don't, we all lose.

© MMIV, Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW

Record your task and segment assignments and keep them handy as a reference during presentation. Make sure you have a back-up plan in case you need to make changes at last minute. Years ago, I presented a leadership development class to a group of 20 professionals. The final video case study was a real tearjerker, a plant manager who poured his heart and soul into his work and his employees. He literally cried on camera as he spoke of his devotion to his work force. With a riveting introduction, I popped videotape into machine…and saw a blank screen! It turned out that last video segment had been deleted from presentation! My back-up plan was not well prepared, and I ended up acting out final video as though I were on stage. My audience was amused, though probably not impressed or educated! Since that "surprise", I've made a habit of double-checking my resources and material beforehand, and outlining for myself what I'll do in event that things don't go according to plan. In case of my missing video, I should have had a brief summary of video's key message handy, so that I could encourage group discussion to bring out learning points.