This is my ideal relationship with myself regarding my physical self. Likewise, I can examine what my ideal relationship is with my intellectual self. Am I on a true path of continuous improvement? Do I get lost in television, or do I stimulate my mind with books, classes and conversations?

The ways in which we treat ourselves is what precedes setting and honoring healthy boundaries with other people. And typically if we are able to lie to ourselves then we are less able to acknowledge when other people are out of integrity.

Ultimately we are all here to serve and choose. Yet, until we are able to love ourselves correctly, we are unable to love others as well. Below I am going to ask several questions. If you feel brave enough to answer them and be honest with you then press on, this is not for sissies. When you tell yourself you are going to do something, do you do it? Who do you remind yourself of? Would you like to be an employee of yourself?

Can you give up something that is damaging to your health? What is presently consuming your time that you wish you could eliminate? What are sources of energy that don't really serve you well or are actually unhealthy? Who's in charge of your life, you or other people?

Ok, that's enough to spark some introspection.

There is something so disarming about a person on their deathbed. Both of us must have known that! Together we told stories, ate chocolate, hugged one another and generally just had a terrific time. And we both laughed. I actually remembered some of good times of my childhood. While I was there, I also had very memorable times with my uncle, my dad’s brother. He’s in his 80’s now, and fun, loving, considerate, a great conversationalist and a hoot.

The aunt who I stayed with (my mom’s sister) and I caught up on stories untold as well. I got to encounter her as an adult and experience made us even closer, but that’s a story for another time.

A month later, after many phone calls with doctors and nurses long distance I made arrangements for my father to be buried in a veteran’s cemetery. Initially I didn’t think I would make return trip for funeral, but I did. I’m so grateful that I did. So many wonderful things happened because I made that choice. One of which is that I reconnected with a cousin who I had not seen for twenty-five years. Since then she’s visited me here in Las Vegas and we’ve spoken to one another every week on telephone. We are so close now that we will never allow time or space to separate us again.

So, why am I bringing up this story now??? Because it’s holidays, and all of us are “half baked” as Jimmy puts it! While we don’t have to hang around anyone who is unwilling to honor our dignity and treat us with respect, forgiveness is essential for self-growth.