It’s especially important to hang in there when children are involved. I’m not saying to stay just for children. If you are with a physically violent partner, or a partner who has no desire to take any personal responsibility, or a substance abuser who has no desire to heal from his or her addiction, then you may need to leave. But if you have a partner who is on a growth path, who is willing to explore with you, who is willing to have counseling with you, who is willing to learn to take responsibility for him or herself, then leaving is not answer. No matter how difficult things get at times, you have a responsibility to yourself, your partner, your family, as well as to whole of humanity to do learning you came to this planet to do.

If you are fortunate enough to be with a partner who is, at least at some of time, opens to learning with you, you are fortunate indeed. The relationship will take you to depths of your dark side and to heights of your ability to love. It will take you where you need to go, so don’t give up just because it’s so hard. The challenge is to be doing a daily Inner Bonding practice of going within, connecting with yourself and with Spirit, and learning what it means to move beyond control, beyond resistance, beyond punishing other, beyond threats and bullying, beyond blame, beyond being victim, beyond compliance, and beyond fear. The challenge is to be healing your wounded self and developing your loving adult, which occurs in growing relationships when both people are devoted to becoming loving adults. The challenge is to be guided more and more by your spiritual Guidance and less and less by your ego/wounded self.

Even if you think that you are open and your partner isn’t, it would be in your highest good to stay in relationship until you are able to remain loving to yourself and your partner no matter what your partner is doing. As long as you are triggered by your partner’s behavior, your healing is not complete and there is no point in leaving. If you reach a point where you are no longer triggered by your partner’s behavior, you might discover that your partner has also changed, even though you believed he or she was not open to learning and growing. If your partner remains closed and there is really nothing more for you to learn, then it might be time for you to leave.

Get both feet in there and do your inner work before even thinking about leaving. Don’t let your wounded self decide your relationship for you. Don’t leave until you know that you are fully guided to do so from a spiritual source of wisdom and truth. Don’t waste this opportunity to evolve your soul in love.

What are things in life that really feel like luxury to you? Now is time to identify them, and separate out smaller, less satisfying things you’re paying for that keep you from getting what you really want.

To keep to spirit of fun, I’ve found it's useful to agree to some simple ground rules:

- Make some unbroken wish list time for two of you

- There are no such things as 'silly ideas' or 'waste of money' items during wish list time (that will come later on during a reality-check period)

- No impulse spending during wish list time! Window shop if you want, share a seat in front of computer if you’re looking online... my preference is to go hang out in antique markets and bohemian shopping districts for ideas, but you might prefer to go visit a travel agent’s office or web site. It DOESN'T matter!

- Each partner gets equal time to show off their ideas if they want it.

Being realistic, there will, of course, be a price tag associated with wish list. Also being realistic, not all luxuries cost an arm and a leg, either. If you have iron will to make a strict budget and do without so that you can go hang out in Tuscany for a month next fall, good for you (and yours!) If you're like me, though, it may make sense to make do with lesser luxuries.

Luxury item #3: Keep looking until you find reasonably-priced luxuries that really make your life more worth living, then revel in them!

That's all it takes. If you get this far, you've done a few extremely healthy things. For starters, you've actually talked to your sweetie about money, without it being a crisis! You've spent some time dreaming together. You've examined your debt and thought about what it's costing you. And with any luck, you've found at least one thing you can enjoy without feeling guilty about what it's costing you… because it's an investment in your piece of mind.