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2. If they give you their name, talk to them like they are an old friend. I use this one most, and my conversations go something like this:
Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Bob... Me: Bob! You crazy old man, how have you been lately? Telemarketer: Huh? Me: Oh, Bob come on now. You remember me? The quiet kid from Algebra.
This lasts about a minute, with me driving telemarketer out of his or her mind.
3. Pretend you are someone that you're not. Here's how a call went about a month ago between me and a guy from a major long distance company.
Telemarketer: Hello, I am with Big Phone Company. Me: Wait! Shh, I am not supposed to be answering this phone! Telemarketer: Sir, Me: I said shhhh! You don't seem to understand. I don't even live in this house. Now, I am going to put this phone down so I can steal this stereo...
This I have only used about four times. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of all telemarketers use autodialers, so they can't exactly pinpoint your phone number. Once I also told person who called that they had called President of United States and were in big trouble, because no one was supposed to have this number. They hung-up in about one second.
4. Just make something up! Use your own imagination. I have one of those sound effects CDs and have used almost every track on CD to throw telemarketers off. I also have a recording of "Who's On First" skit, which I have used as well. Just play it into phone.
If you have worries about using any of these, don't. Remember--they called you. Technically you should yell and scream at them, but hey, why not have a little fun?
Reagan D. Lynch is a no holds barred, take no bull consumer advocate, internet researcher and e-Book author. Visit his web-site at http://www.rdlinternetconsulting.com/