To a significant degree, your daughter’s success in life and in love is in your hands.

As fathers go through process of raising daughters, they may have to question everything they thought they knew about sexes and difference between men and women. How is it that you learn about these things?

You learn by allowing your daughters to teach you about them every day. You learn by not attempting to control or protect your daughters. You learn by opening up your hearts, and not having answers all of time for your daughters (or your sons).

If you can allow your daughters to enjoy being female as much as you enjoy being male, you’ve taken a big first step. If you can also allow your daughter to make most of her own decisions, you will probably enjoy a great relationship with her. You will also know a lot more about women than you did before.

Here are some action points for fathers with their daughters:

•Fully explore your expectations for your daughter. See where you may be too controlling in her life, or are overly protecting her.

•Create special times with your daughter each week, one-on-one, when you can ask her questions about her life and become more fully aware of who she is. Make this time sacred and let her know it’s important to you.

•Expect your daughter to be strong and competent; she’ll know that you do and will respond accordingly.

•If your daughter is a teen-ager or close to it, explore your attitude about your daughter’s sexuality; many fathers are uncomfortable with this and leave their daughters emotionally when they need them most.

•Be a great model for how men treat women in your relationship with your wife.

•Talk to other fathers who have had daughters, and find out how they have dealt with challenges of raising a daughter.

Your daughter is depending on your healthy attitude to help her to navigate a culture that is not always positive for girls.

Take a step back and examine your view towards women and girls. Are there changes you want to make?

Your daughter will help you to make those changes if you’ll just listen.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.

6.Always be willing to be part of problem

See yourself as having something to do with every problem that comes along. Most problems in families get bigger when parents respond to them in a way that exacerbates problem. If your child makes a mistake, remember how crucial it is for you to have a calm, reasoned response.

7.Get your kids involved in household duties at an early age

Research suggests that kids who are involved in household chores from an early age tend to be happier and more successful. Why? From an early age, they’re made to feel they are an important part of family. Kids want to belong and to feel like they’re valuable.

8.Limit your kids access to mass media mania

Young kids need to play, not spend time in front of a screen. To develop creativity and problem-solving skills, allow your kids time to use free play. Much of mass media market can teach your kids about consumerism, sarcasm, and violence. What your kids learn from you and from free play with others will provide seeds for future emotional intelligence.

9.Talk about feelings as a family

State your emotional goals as a family. These might be no yelling, no name-calling, be respectful at all times, etc. Families that talk about their goals are more likely to be aware of them and to achieve them. As parent, you then have to “walk talk.”

10.See your kids as wonderful

There is no greater way to create emotional intelligence in your child than to see them as wonderful and capable. One law of universe is, “what you think about expands.” If you see your child and think about them as wonderful, you’ll get a lot of “wonderful.” If you think about your child as a problem, you’ll get a lot of problems.

Having a high IQ is nice, but having a high “EQ” is even better. Make these ten ideas daily habits and you’ll give your kids best chance possible to be happy, productive, and responsible adults.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.