RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE THREE R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, RaptureWritten by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Continued from page 1 This "R" is extremely difficult and involves a lot of mental and emotional perspiration. We are vulnerable to absorbing criticism and negative remarks about ourselves and actually internalizing them, making them ours. So there is much work to be done when we start to sift through feelings that we are less rather than more. We need to think of ourselves as more, not less. I remember one client who had struggled to begin think of herself as more, not less. Her husband was often critical of her and constantly interruptive. For example when eating out he would often criticize her and spoil her pleasure by suggesting she had put on some pounds and might not want to order a particular item. Around house he would barge into a room and interrupt her telephone conversation or television show. He would then bring up a subject in which she was presented as culprit. It was a wonderful day in her life when she was simply able to say when her husband interrupted her, "I am leaving house for a few hours. I hope upon my return your mood will be better and you will be treating me more appropriately." She then took car keys and went to visit a friend. When she came back he was pleasant and in a totally different state. Although this was only part of correction between them, it was a momentous moment in giving her a sense that not only must she think of herself as more, not less, but she also must have courage to take positive appropriate action. Rapture is a strong, full word that incorporates a capacity for joy that affects us in our own mind, body and spirit. It is a feeling of being in harmony in a euphoric or an ecstatic way with others or universe at large. Obviously, we don't go around in a state of rapture all time. To experience even states of well being on a regular basis involves tremendous daily practice. Yet, if we work and we perspire, mentally, emotionally, socially we will be rewarded. How? For one thing, positive actions we take in our lives are pleasing to us and good for us. In my new book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, I talk about so many occasions when people took positive actions and then had pleasant rewarding experience of positive feelings. These positive feelings varied from person to person yet included whole spectrum of well being, including joyousness, contentment, satisfaction, pleasure and on occasion, rapture. In my book I share a reverie that I had one night. I imagined all of my friends and loved ones and then strangers from around world coming together in big circles dancing in moonlight. We danced until dawn in my reverie. There was a sense of euphoria that built leading to me to experiencing great joy and even rapture as I indulged in my visualization. I share this one with you because it points out that positive actions can take form of positive thoughts! Often we dismiss our inner life. I think it's important to document that our inner life is a very real place where we practice many of states of well being that ultimately take shape through expression in real world. Although I have not danced through night in moonlight with hundreds of thousands of people, feelings I had in that reverie certainly translate into many of positive actions that I take in sharing THE ENCHANTED SELF message. As a matter of fact, without my inner life, I doubt there would be energy to bring these teachings to others. Yes, obviously in this discussion we are moving toward spiritual. Ultimately, positive energies that we have to give world require mind, body and spirit. And so you see that enchantment is all about putting meat in your soul's soup. It is about muscle that goes with living a life of joy. Perspiration, daily practice, and daily routines that enhance possibilities of living a life of enchantment, are all of hard work. Just remember though, before you get discouraged, it is even harder to live a miserable life. We pay for misery in so many ways. We pay for it in feeling fatigued and feeling that we don't have real purpose. We feel inside that there's a hole in our hearts or that we have missed boat. We can feel aggravated, tense, fed up. We can feel that future will be as miserable as past. We can feel that we are ordinary rather than extraordinary. We can pay for a negative attitude with more physical and emotional illness so that perspiration pours off of us in a different way. I think it's smarter, since life is a struggle and designed so that we work at whatever we're doing, that we practice enchantment and enjoy perspiration and inspiration that goes with practice. So promise yourself to take JOYRIDE OF YOUR LIFE!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Order her book and other woman products, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm
| | Practical Steps of EnchantmentWritten by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
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2) Katherine's Memory - Playing Elevator in Closet Katherine remarked: "My sister and I had so much fun when we were children. The two of us would play, "Elevator" for hours. It was a simple game that went this way: one of us would pretend to be elevator operator. She would open closet door and say going up or going down. Then other one would walk into closet. The door would be closed behind her. She would huddle on floor in total darkness. A moment would pass and then she would respond to voice outside saying, "This floor, coats, dresses, or Second floor, furniture, and cosmetics." Then out she would leap, laughing hysterically. This sequence would be repeated again and again. We were not at all frightened by darkness, feeling totally at home in our homemade elevator." What a lovely memory Katherine had, so full of heartwarming components. Katherine was able to bring back images of herself and her sister playing with enthusiasm, keeping busy laughing uproariously, and feeling safe. 3) Positive Memories - We All Have Them! Do you realize that we all have special fond memories tucked away inside of us? Whether you come from a family that had many opportunities for pleasure and joy or whether you came from circumstances that were far from ideal, it doesn't matter. Somewhere, in you past you have experienced pleasure, joy, humor, and positive feelings of connection. My hunch is that there have been times when you felt that all was right with world and whatever you were doing could go on forever. For Katherine when she began to talk about pleasant memories, this elevator memory came back to her, from early childhood. However, you may have a special memory that goes back to last year or maybe even this morning. That too qualifies as an enchanted memory. Simply put an enchanted memory is one where positive rather than negative feelings are aroused as you go back to it. I call these memories Positive Fingerprints of Mind because they are so clearly unique to you. We may both have gone to summer camp. While swimming in lake was your fondest memory from that summer it may have been my most miserable. 4) Peanut Butter: We All Love It Lots of memories, even from very distant past, are charming and heartwarming. Here is a memory that many of us can resonate to: eating peanut butter sandwiches. I was surprised and delighted to hear on public radio that in New York City there lurks a small restaurant devoted to nostalgia and experience of peanut butter sandwiches. The two favorite at restaurant are a peanut butter sandwich dripping with honey with sliced bananas inside, and a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with peanut butter. I thought as I listened to report that this was such a charming idea for a restaurant. People can come together in one place where everyone is not only enjoying food but also have a reverie into his or her own past as sandwiches are devoured. I hope I gave you a nice review or introduction to The Enchanted Self. Please savor two examples above and spend a little time coming up with your own delicious memories from past. May they be as much fun as imaginary elevator and taste as good as a fresh peanut butter sandwich!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Order her book and other woman products, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm
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