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"sure you can date; in fact Iíll be waiting for him in front yard while I sharpen my machete" "yes, he has to come to door and pick you upÖ how else will I get change to interrogate him?" "if he wants to date you, he has to get through me first!!" - referring to a date who blows car horn for you "now just wait a minute, youíre moviní so fast you look like one of Pavlovs dogs runniní for bell" "well that is rude. How rude? Iíll tell you how rude" "well he can just stay out there and blow his horn, and maybe heíll get some cows to come home" "donít stay out later than when cows come home"
"high-tailing it" - running fast "fast as a rabbit" "like green corn through new maid"
Stop Yer complaininí
"well itís better than a kick in arse with a frozen boot!" "well, itís better than a poke in eye with a blunt stick!" "want in one hand, spit in other, and see which one gets full first." - reply to someone that wants something "itís better than a sharp stick in eye"
Poor, Rich, Money
"don't have a pot to p___ in or a window to throw it out of" "poor as a church mouse" "he may be good looking but good looking won't put food on table" "you've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook" - expensive taste "don't have one penny to rub against another one" "tighter than bark on a tree" - not generous "don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out" - poor "he's got enough money to burn a wet mule" "filthy rich" "dirt poor"
"he's so dishonest he'd rather p--s in wind than tell truth" "he knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers"
Eat, Drinking and Cooking
"wetting your whistle" - getting a drink "gooder 'an candy and better 'an snuff" - grandma's cookin' "he eats like a pin in a swaller" "stump water" - weak coffee "don't swallow watermelon seeds or you'll wake up one morning with vines growing out of your ears" "tad, smidgen, dab" - Grannyís cooking measurements "tough as shoe leather" "grub's on"
How You Doing?
"oh, I'm circlin' drain" "fair to midlin" - I am told that this has to do with grading cotton "if I had a tail, it'd be waggin'" "well, better 'n gettin' poked in eye, I suppose"
Tell Someone to Get Lost
"take a long walk off a short pier" "away and boil your head" - telling someone to get lost
Yes, No, Maybe, Never......
"I might could do that" - maybe "when pigs fly" - never "If good Lord willin' and crick don't rise" - when asked about likelihood of just about anything happening "does a bear s**t in woods"
"You kids are noisier than a fox in henhouse" "You're so loud you could wake dead" "Speak up, I think that mountain goat in Tibet did'n hear you!"
"son of a gosh darned sassaffras root!" - cussing around children
Lisa Jay is a freelance writer and the jewelry designer behind Lantana Designwear. You can visit her websites at http://www.LantanaDesignwear.com and www.JewelryMakingHQ.com Be sure to sign up for her newsletter at http://www.LantanaDesignwear.com/signup_newsletter to receive information on jewelry, fashion and womens issues.