Quotes and Sayings - Colloquialisms Part 1

Written by Lisa Jay

Continued from page 1


"sure you can date; in fact I’ll be waiting for him inrepparttar front yard while I sharpen my machete" "yes, he has to come torepparttar 118080 door and pick you up… how else will I getrepparttar 118081 change to interrogate him?" "if he wants to date you, he has to get through me first!!" - referring to a date who blowsrepparttar 118082 car horn for you "now just wait a minute, you’re movin’ so fast you look like one of Pavlovs dogs runnin’ forrepparttar 118083 bell" "well that is rude. How rude? I’ll tell you how rude" "well he can just stay out there and blow his horn, and maybe he’ll get some cows to come home" "don’t stay out later than whenrepparttar 118084 cows come home"

Slow, Fast

"high-tailing it" - running fast "fast as a rabbit" "like green corn throughrepparttar 118085 new maid"

Stop Yer complainin’

"well it’s better than a kick inrepparttar 118086 arse with a frozen boot!" "well, it’s better than a poke inrepparttar 118087 eye with a blunt stick!" "want in one hand, spit inrepparttar 118088 other, and see which one gets full first." - reply to someone that wants something "it’s better than a sharp stick inrepparttar 118089 eye"

Poor, Rich, Money

"don't have a pot to p___ in or a window to throw it out of" "poor as a church mouse" "he may be good looking but good looking won't put food onrepparttar 118090 table" "you've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook" - expensive taste "don't have one penny to rub against another one" "tighter than bark on a tree" - not generous "don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out" - poor "he's got enough money to burn a wet mule" "filthy rich" "dirt poor"


"he's so dishonest he'd rather p--s inrepparttar 118091 wind than tellrepparttar 118092 truth" "he knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers"

Eat, Drinking and Cooking

"wetting your whistle" - getting a drink "gooder 'an candy and better 'an snuff" - grandma's cookin' "he eats like a pin in a swaller" "stump water" - weak coffee "don't swallow watermelon seeds or you'll wake up one morning with vines growing out of your ears" "tad, smidgen, dab" - Granny’s cooking measurements "tough as shoe leather" "grub's on"

How You Doing?

"oh, I'm circlin'repparttar 118093 drain" "fair to midlin" - I am told that this has to do with grading cotton "if I had a tail, it'd be waggin'" "well, better 'n gettin' poked inrepparttar 118094 eye, I suppose"

Tell Someone to Get Lost

"take a long walk off a short pier" "away and boil your head" - telling someone to get lost

Yes, No, Maybe, Never......

"I might could do that" - maybe "when pigs fly" - never "Ifrepparttar 118095 good Lord willin' andrepparttar 118096 crick don't rise" - when asked aboutrepparttar 118097 likelihood of just about anything happening "does a bear s**t inrepparttar 118098 woods"


"You kids are noisier than a fox inrepparttar 118099 henhouse" "You're so loud you could wakerepparttar 118100 dead" "Speak up, I think that mountain goat in Tibet did'n hear you!"


"son of a gosh darned sassaffras root!" - cussing around children

Lisa Jay is a freelance writer and the jewelry designer behind Lantana Designwear. You can visit her websites at http://www.LantanaDesignwear.com and www.JewelryMakingHQ.com Be sure to sign up for her newsletter at http://www.LantanaDesignwear.com/signup_newsletter to receive information on jewelry, fashion and womens issues.

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Written by Richard A. Chapo

Continued from page 1

Quote: “The government deficit isrepparttar difference betweenrepparttar 118079 amount of moneyrepparttar 118080 government spends andrepparttar 118081 amount it has repparttar 118082 nerve to collect."

Why is it that whenrepparttar 118083 IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but byrepparttar 118084 time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth? A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: “Even when you make a tax form out onrepparttar 118085 level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.”

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: “When are we going to be allowed to listrepparttar 118086 government as a dependent?”

People often say death and taxes arerepparttar 118087 same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

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