Quirk Wars

Written by Ed Williams

Continued from page 1

“No one sits behind me at theatres or ballgames if I can help it.”

This happens to be a learned quirk, and for good reason. I’ll never understand why people pay lots of money to go to a ballgame, only to sit there and yap allrepparttar way through it. Worse yet, how many of y’all have shelled out for a movie, gotten torepparttar 137431 pivotal point inrepparttar 137432 film, and heard a cell phone go off? And even worse than that, how many times hasrepparttar 137433 person makingrepparttar 137434 noise been sitting directly right behind you? Because of dopes like these I’ve learned to never let anyone sit behind me if I can help it, and if I can’t, I try to eat a couple of bowls of raisin bran right before I attendrepparttar 137435 event.

“I read while I eat.”

Can’t help it, Ed Jr. used to readrepparttar 137436 paper atrepparttar 137437 table when I was growing up, so I mooched this quirk off him. Y’all can’t make fun of it ‘cause I had no choice, and y’all don’t really want to make fun of my dad, now do you?

“I don’t like doing stuff I don’t like.”

I don’t understand why this is even categorized as a quirk, to me it makes perfect sense, but I’m told by my spousal unit that it’s a huge quirk. “Edward, you can’t always dorepparttar 137438 things you’d like to do.” Maybe one day I can make myself enjoy funerals for relatives I don’t even know, prom lead-outs, and watching other people’s home movies, but don’t hold your breath...

All of y’all should be primed up pretty good right now. You guys out there, y’all just put downrepparttar 137439 paper, smile, and look over at your ladies and say, “You know, honey, I’ve always want to talk with you about why you go torepparttar 137440 bathroom so often.” And ladies, y’all just put downrepparttar 137441 paper, smile, and look over at your man and say, “Snugglekins, why is it that you smell a tad musty even after you bathe?” That should getrepparttar 137442 ball off and rollin‘....

Ed’s latest book, “Rough As A Cob,“ can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He’s also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.

My Mother's Amazing Meatloaf Mystery

Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

Continued from page 1

Allrepparttar ladies took great pride in their special dishes atrepparttar 137237 church fellowship supper and would not be caught dead with a dish fromrepparttar 137238 store. So, my mother faced a special dilemma. Onrepparttar 137239 one hand, she couldn't lie and take credit for something she didn't do, but onrepparttar 137240 other hand, she was backed into a serious corner.

I, being young atrepparttar 137241 time, did not understand all that was going on, but I could tell my mother was in a lot of distress. Then, likerepparttar 137242 sun rising inrepparttar 137243 morning, her face lit up and a big smile crawled across her face.

"Ladies," she giggled with delight, "I could never give awayrepparttar 137244 family secret recipe."

As silly as this seemed to me then and now, allrepparttar 137245 ladies ofrepparttar 137246 church nodded knowingly and that wasrepparttar 137247 end of it. Every woman knows every other woman, especially mothers, have secrets they cannot divulge. This goes double for secret recipes fromrepparttar 137248 kitchen. They understood certain confidences are not to be breached.

This spawned a new dilemma for my mother. She was now expected at every church fellowship supper to bring her famous meatloaf. Once, I remember, she tried to make a meatloaf but it didn't turn out like her "famous" meatloaf and she feared taking such a risk with such a discriminating group asrepparttar 137249 ladies ofrepparttar 137250 church. Forrepparttar 137251 next 20 years, she was forced to purchase her famous meatloaf fromrepparttar 137252 market in high hopes that no lady fromrepparttar 137253 church would discover her secret recipe for her meatloaf.

Several times during that 20-year time my mother volunteered to bring some other dish but none ofrepparttar 137254 ladies would hear of it. One lady expressedrepparttar 137255 obvious opinion ofrepparttar 137256 entire church when she said, "Our church fellowship suppers would not berepparttar 137257 same without your homemade meatloaf." Nothing more needed said.

My mother smiled, hidingrepparttar 137258 fear lurking in her heart that one day her meatloaf recipe would be found out.

Fortunately, nobody ever found out my mother's recipe for her amazing meatloaf. Although she moved and no longer attends that church, she once in a while delights a family reunion with her famous meatloaf.

Mysteries are all around us every day. Evenrepparttar 137259 Bible is full of mysteries. Some mysteries we will never discover and only eternity will reveal them.

Some, however, God graciously reveals to us now. One for example is; "To whom God would make known what isrepparttar 137260 riches ofrepparttar 137261 glory of this mystery amongrepparttar 137262 Gentiles; which is Christ in you,repparttar 137263 hope of glory:" (Colossians 1:27 KJV.)

Mystery of mysteries is that God delights to reside in people like you and me.

Reverend Snyder is currently ministering at the "Family of God Fellowship" in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available for reprint at his website: http://www.godspenman.com/ Rev. Snyder is available as a guest speaker. He writes a weekly column and is the author of "You Can Always Tell a Pastor; But Not Very Much " available at: http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/

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