Put Yourself Out of Your Misery and Quit

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™


Continued from page 1

Let’s just say here it’s another good reason to get rid of prejudice, but then we didn’t need another good reason to get rid of prejudice, did we?

Thinking and acting are, of course, two different things, but, as usual, we do not fool our bodies. Look at that physical reaction. An editorial in Nature Neuroscience quickly adds that while “the study links certain brain activity with implicit bias, it says nothing about what causes that bias or howrepparttar bias affects behavior towards people of other races.”

However, it’s very clear how it affectsrepparttar 130526 person withrepparttar 130527 feelings. Those with low bias, did not have a drop in cognitive functioning.

Lead researcher Jennifer Richeson, Dartmouth, concluded that in today’s modern multicultural world, “being biased has negative consequences for us.”

A broader application is to note what it does to us when we are generating negative feelings. If you are reacting this way, it’s going to lower your cognitive functioning. Which is sort of what “work” is all about. You have to be able to think. We return torepparttar 130528 tenets of coaching – find your passion. Find work you love, you’ll do better at it. Make choices. If you dislike something you have two alternatives: remove yourself fromrepparttar 130529 situation, or learn to manage your emotions in regards to it. Prejudice, for instance, is learned. What’s learned, can be unlearned.

Andrepparttar 130530 corollary to this is that when we dwell in rancor, hatred and prejudice, it may or may not damagerepparttar 130531 other, but it definitely damages us. Bias slows us down, and anger kills us … whether suppressed or expressed. If we could all just learn to get along, within ourselves, and between one another … and that’s what Emotional Intelligence is all about.

It seems fitting to end with these words from Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution: “The emotional frontier is trulyrepparttar 130532 next frontier to conquer in human understanding. The opportunity we face now, even before that frontier is fully explored and settled, is to develop our emotional potential and accelerate rather dramatically into a new state of being.”

©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for all your needs – transition, career, relationships, resilience, Emotional Intelligence. Distance learning programs, EQ eBook Library – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.


Optimism: How To Avoid Negative Thinking

Written by Kali Munro


Continued from page 1

Next, write down all your feelings aboutrepparttar event and how you responded. Do this for a few unpleasant situations, such as an argument with your partner, a work conflict, and getting a parking ticket. You might begin to see a pattern in how you interpret and react to events, and this will help you to become aware of and to change patterns.

If you do have pessimistic thoughts, it can help just to be aware that you think that way. Next time your thoughts jump to something like "I never get my way," "Nothing ever gets any better," or "People are always mean to me," try to notice that a pessimistic way of thinking is present for you.

The next step is to distract yourself from your pessimistic beliefs or dispute them. Disputing pessimistic beliefs will bring deeper, longer lasting results than distracting will, but distraction can also be effective, and sometimes easier.

Disputing pessimistic beliefs involves replacing them with alternative, kinder, and more realistic explanations. For example, if you have an argument with your partner, you might immediately think: "S/he never understands me! I'm alwaysrepparttar 130525 one who ends up apologizing. This isn't working out; we should split up." Inrepparttar 130526 heat of an argument, it's hard to think rationally. But if you step back and think aboutrepparttar 130527 situation more realistically, you might find that your thoughts become more positive, and you may even be able to work things out faster. For instance, you might tell yourself, "We just had an argument, and while s/he wasn't very understanding, neither was I. S/he's understood me lots of other times, and will probably understand me again once we've both cooled off. We've always been able to work through our problems before. I know we can again."

Maintaining a hopeful, positive, yet real perspective inrepparttar 130528 face of adversity can be a real challenge - one many are facing right now inrepparttar 130529 world - but it is essential to living peacefully and happily. Just as it is important to recognize what is unjust and unfair in our lives andrepparttar 130530 world, it is equally important to seerepparttar 130531 beauty, love, generosity, and goodness as well. Being gentle and loving with ourselves when we make mistakes, or when bad things happen is key to being hopeful and optimistic. And even if you're not sure it's possible, you can do it!



Kali Munro, M.Ed., is a Toronto psychotherapist with twenty years experience. She also has an online practice. She has published many self-help articles about relationships, sexual abuse, lesbian and gay issues, body image, and other personal growth issues. Her website has lots of free articles, self-quizzes, self-help tips, inspirational quotes and poetry, and free e-books and e-newsletters. Check out her website at www.KaliMunro.com


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