Put Down That pencil

Written by Jim Henderson

Continued from page 1

The silence is broken byrepparttar sergeant. You want to talk about it...you know, tell me how this happened?

It all started so innocently, he said, lowering his guard. A book report here, an essay there. One thing leads to another and before you know it...his voice falters. Before you know it youíre doing lap tops and then word processors. I canít stop myself. A few words here, a sentence or two there. Thenrepparttar 118309 paragraphs, I canít getrepparttar 118310 paragraphs to stop. Theyíre in my head!

He didnít have to say a word,repparttar 118311 real horror was told inrepparttar 118312 eyes ofrepparttar 118313 suspect. The extent of his condition was broadcast by those glazed over eyes from staring for hours at a blank, luminescent monitor. His hand moves slowly toward a keyboard, his fingers began to twitch aroundrepparttar 118314 keys uncontrollably.

He continues after a pause. The disease spread. At first Iím shoving manuscripts at a few of my friends but there not interested. At first they tried to be nice but soon they avoid me. Now Iím asking total strangers to proof read for me!

A negotiator is called in to defuserepparttar 118315 terse standoff. We can help, he says. A padded cell, weíll get you some counseling, and a good treatment program. With any luck, you can beat this. Afterwards, weíll relocate you, set you up with AA, Authorís Anonymous. Listen to me, I know what youíre going through, itís happened to me too. An audible gasp fillsrepparttar 118316 room, uneasy members ofrepparttar 118317 swat team glance at each other nervously.

Forrepparttar 118318 first time,repparttar 118319 suspect appears to consider surrender. He ponders before he replies. What will happen if I donít turn myself in, he questions?

It will go hard on you, probably incarceration. Maybe even...he falters.

No,repparttar 118320 suspect gasps, not.. not a rejection letter!

Yes, Iím afraid so!

With that, he surrenders and is escorted to a waiting patrol car to be wisked away. All right,repparttar 118321 squad leader announces torepparttar 118322 crowd that gathered around to watch, Go home! Itís all over now. The crisis has been resolved...

...or has it?

Sergeant, a team member urgently cries out. Come here quick! He is obviously in a state of panic. What is it, man?

One ofrepparttar 118323 pencils is missing! Someone must have gotten it.

Here we go again!

Jim Henderson is currently employed in the field of environmental regulatory compliance. He enjoys writing as a past time and has had several articles published in various on-line publications.

I Own A Dog

Written by Jim Henderson

Continued from page 1

Perhaps what perplexes me most is why this slobbering beast occupies such an exalted plateau. Anyone who has ever observed a dog sleeping or laying around most ofrepparttar day has surely wondered atrepparttar 118308 expression, "working like a dog". The irony of this analogy is only eclipsed by, "sleeping like a baby". What hasrepparttar 118309 canine done to merit such undeserved esteem other than drool excessively and wag it's tail with an insipid look on it's face.

Rather than possess any attributes of a redeeming value,repparttar 118310 notorious mutt does have an entourage of annoying vices of which I will now enumerate. Any list would be sure to include barking all night, chewing on footwear and furnishings, digging holes inrepparttar 118311 yard and redistributingrepparttar 118312 contents of trash bags. Most distressing isrepparttar 118313 animal's unsanitary toilet habits (the furry beast is constantly manufacturing doggie-doo and indiscriminately placing it aroundrepparttar 118314 yard). This self-appointed washer-of-tires and waterer-of-fire hydrants is notorious for one other flagrant vice, they chase cats. Which may explain why cats are prone to urinary tract disorders inrepparttar 118315 first place

Jim Henderson is currently employed in the field of Environmental Regulatory compliance. He enjoys reading and writing in his spare time. A number of his articles have appeared in various on-line publications.

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