3.If you’re on deck in same situation, do you want your teammate to win game or do you want a chance to get to plate?

4.Would you prefer your teammate make last out of game so that you don’t have to bat with game on line?

5.Do you want to pitch?

6.Would you want to come in with bases loaded and your team has a one run lead in championship game? Projection of Parents, Friends and Relatives – Projection is one of defense mechanisms identified by Freud and still acknowledged today. According to Freud, projection is when someone is threatened by or afraid of their own impulses so they attribute these impulses to someone else. For example, a parent or grandparent who is so nervous about outcome of a game can project their own insecurity and stress onto a child when child isn’t bothered at all. For example, I know some grandparents, who are admittedly risk averse themselves and protective of their kids (no matter how old they are) are now at least as protective of their grandchildren. They have a grandson who is an excellent pitcher and loves to pitch, but they still feel that he’s under too much pressure and maybe he shouldn’t even be playing baseball. This is an example of projection of their feelings about child rather than actually finding out how he feels. I know many parents who prefer their child not come to bat in a tough situation just in case their kid makes last out. While this is very easy to understand since we all want to protect our children, it often isn’t kids feeling pressure, but rest of us.

Dealing With Pressure – Webster’s Dictionary defines “Pressure” as “the burden of physical or mental distress”. Even that definition is interesting because it neglects possibility that people can perform well and even thrive under pressure and stress. One misconception though with performing under pressure is that stress always has a negative connotation. Many times, "the stress of competition may cause a negative anxiety in one performer but positive excitement in another". That is why one frequently hears how elite players' thrive under pressure, when most others would crumble. As individuals, our nervous systems differ; however, according to Richard Dienstbier at University of Nebraska, we may be able to modify our physiological reactions by learning coping skills. Not surprisingly, exercise and sports participation are commonly considered as activities to reduce stress from other areas in life. However, if a child is feeling pressure while playing sports, here are some solid stress relief techniques they can employ: 1.Visualization – Before a game, visualize yourself in stressful situations and dealing with them successfully. Put yourself into that place mentally so that you can deal with it better when it happens in reality. During game, you can remember back to how you’ve already dealt with this situation and are mentally prepared for it. Just so you know where I’m coming from, visualization is simply a shorter version of meditation.

2.Breathing – If a kid is feeling stressed during a game, feeling less anxious can often be as simple as taking a few deep breaths. Deep breathing is a very effective method of relaxation. It is a core component of everything from 'take ten deep breaths' approach to calming someone down, right through to yoga relaxation and Zen meditation. It works well in conjunction with other relaxation techniques such as Progressive Muscular Relaxation, relaxation imagery and meditation to reduce stress.

Conclusion - A lot has been made of impact of pressure in youth sports and negative impact, but much of this is simply projecting a parent or relative’s individual beliefs on situation. While you can argue that I’m doing same thing, but in reverse, I in fact take a different position which is: 1) to acknowledge that pressure does exist, but 2) to determine how each individual child can deal with situation. Only by knowing each child can you determine if situation is, in fact, distress rather than an adrenaline producing pressure moment which kid loves.

Ken Kaiserman is the president of SportsKids.com, a leading youth sports website featuring games, sports news, sports camp and league directories, community features, and the www.sportskids.com Superstore with over 150,000 products.

Of course, this really changes things for a youth coach because we need to teach correct fundamentals or we’ll simply be reinforcing bad habits kids develop. The hardest thing to do as a coach is to try and correct a flaw that a kid has developed over years of “practice”. This is even harder when kid is good, because correcting fundamental flaw generally means that getting worse before getting better. That means kid is going to be reluctant to try this “new” way and may not stick it out. In long run, difference could be huge. While we’ve already acknowledged that that we’re not developing professional athletes, there is no reason to limit ceiling on how well each child may develop. Coach’s Corner, Continued

The solution is simple: we need to learn right fundamentals before we start coaching. It’s a responsibility that we accept when we volunteer to coach. Now, up front, I want to make sure to state that most of us think we know much more about sports than we really do. We think that because we played and we were pretty good that we clearly know how to teach a kid to play baseball or basketball. That’s simply not true. Much of what we learned was wrong. We may also not know right way to communicate what we know to kids. Or, we may not know anything about sport if we’re stepping in and coaching soccer or another sport that wasn’t “big” when we were young.

Fortunately, there is help. Many leagues do a good job teaching their coaches fundamentals of game. Some leagues even offer mandatory coaching clinics for their coaches. These are really good starts, but generally not enough – especially as kids you coach get older and better. Before every season that I coach, I’ll watch several instructional tapes to review fundamentals and also learn new material. I re-watch tapes, often with my kids that we’ve seen before and buy a couple of new ones to add some wrinkles. Of course, at SportsKids.com, we do offer 1,000’s of instructional books and videos, but point of this section is to simply say to use whatever method you choose to make sure that you teach correct fundamentals. Every kid, even young kids, can learn with good coaching and remember: “Practice makes Permanent”.

The “Dad Hat” and “Coach Hat”

There is a huge difference between being a “Dad” and being a “Coach”. Each has different responsibilities and relationships with kids. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of overlap between two roles. I literally have two hats: one says “Dad” and other says “Coach”. Over years, my kids and I have learned to separate two so I don’t wear hats too often, but it does make distinction more literal. Coaching your own children is one of real challenges of youth sports because sometimes, you child wants or expects to have a dad when you’re team’s coach. If you can separate these roles, and both of your expectations, you and your child will have a much better youth sports experience.

Ken Kaiserman is the president of www.sportskids.com, a leading youth sports website featuring games, sports news, sports camp and league directories, community features, and the SportsKids.com Superstore with over 150,000 products.