These vouchers are redeemable only at their local Tool Liquidators outlet. And what they buy with their vouchers can only be sold to Pentagon.

The Pentagon is already accustomed to paying $600 for hammers. And according to this article I read, they even pay upwards of a couple of thousand dollars for Mr. Coffee coffee makers.

You don't even want to know what they pay for screwdrivers!

So, I figure, those folks with vouchers shop at Tool Liquidators, pay ninety-nine cents for a hammer, and sell it to Pentagon for $600. That's a profit of $599.01 per hammer! Why, it'll take just one trip to tool store and they're quite well off. Poverty's gone.

The beauty of this plan is that it won't cost us taxpayers a penny more to lift everyone out of poverty. We're already footing bill for $600 hammers and who knows what for light bulbs.

(c)2002 by Mark Brennaman. All Rights Reserved.

I decided to call my mother. "Hi mom. I thought I would give you a quick call."

"How sweet. You took time to call your mother."

"No. No. I didn't take anything," I protested.

"Oh yes you did. You even took my advice to call more often. And you took account of your mother's happiness. And you took ... Hello? Hello?"

I just could not take any more. I scrambled out door, receiver still dangling from table.

I had to take off. No, that would just keep me from sleeping. I saw my neighbor. Surely I could give him a hand.

"Sorry. Today I'm just relaxing." He studied stress etched upon my face. "You look like you should take a break, too."

"No, I can't take a break. Takers don't sleep well at night."

"Well, at least you're taking a stand on something."

"I am NOT taking a stand," I protested. I was beginning to feel like a career protester.

"Take it easy, fellow."

Yikes! My neighbor was making me into a champion taker. I darted back toward my house.

"Take care," my neighbor called after me.

"Noooooooooo" I screamed with my hands over my ears.

Crouched in safety of my favorite closet, I tallied up day. I gave advice, a compliment and my opinion. I took it back, my silly opinions, time, my mother's advice and account of my mother's happiness, off, a break, a stand, it easy and care. I gave three times and took ten times.

No wonder I wasn't sleeping well at night. I was truly a taker. There was nothing left to do but to take a sleeping pill. That should give me at least five hours of sleep, give or take a few.