Polar Power: Do Opposites Attract?Written by Luigi Di Serio
Continued from page 1
So mystery has been solved, opposites really do attract? Actually… Not really. In part II we will explore why “the opposite’s attract” notion is a double-edged sword in world of dating and gender interaction.
It is pretty common knowledge that opposites attract. We know that magnets with opposite polarity attract, so common cliché is actually a law of nature. However, rather than boring you with scientific evidence to prove this is true, let me cut right to chase: In part one of this article, I argued that opposites do attract, and both feminine energy and masculine energy are required for attraction to occur (which is mostly an inexplicable chemistry) and for a fulfilling relationship to ensue.
But don’t birds of a feather flock together? And don’t people who “have so much in common” usually have successful relationships? Sure they do. But this contradicts what I’ve been saying all along. Is it similarities or differences that are key to a perfectly balanced union? Therein lies important question, which actually has a much more simple answer than one might think.
According to a University of Iowa study on mating issues (mating based on similar or opposite characteristics), which studied 291 newlyweds that had participated in Iowa Marital Assessment Project, researchers found with very strong evidence that people tend to marry those who are similar in attitudes, religion and values. They also found that these were main reasons why people got married. However, it is similarity in personality that appears to be more important in having a happy marriage. The findings appear in February 2005 issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by American Psychological Association (APA). The couples were assessed on a broad range of personality characteristics, attitudes and relationship quality indicators.
The research suggested that, “there is no evidence that opposites attract.” The study was fascinating and comprehensive, but their conclusion wasn’t. The word “attraction” usually refers to initial feelings a person has that spark an interest in other. So in realms of courting dating and sexuality, being opposite and different, is fulfilling in many ways. Mystery, anticipation and excitement, curiosity and adventure all come from experiencing something different. Sure opposites clash, but that is often where sparks and passion is created. You can create heat without any friction (know what I mean?)
This is where many couples that start off well go really wrong. Many relationships are built on foundation of sexual attraction or simply lust. Those are fleeting feelings and certainly not enough to make a relationship work. If people don’t want same things, or have different values and beliefs, relationship is bound for failure.
Personality and attitude similarities are VERY important also. But these characteristics often come out later, as a relationship progresses and eventually settles. Frequently people are too involved by time they realize differences and people often “settle” while feeling unfulfilled.
Opposites attract in dating, courting and during escalated sexual tension, but opposites certainly clash when it comes to personality, attitudes and values. So to have best of both worlds, you must establish and lay out your beliefs, values and what you want out of life right away. Masculine energies and feminine energies are opposites, but do not cause harmful and destructive clashes in relationships when they are balanced out.
"Jack of all trades and master of none"... Luigi Di Serio is an ad hoc, freelance writer and web site developer who owns over 100 web sites! He holds a degree in Urban Planning and is specialized in strategic business intelligence, security, espionage, sociology and human interactionism (including relationships). www.diserio.com
Six common criminal types and how to avoid themWritten by Scott Shaper
Continued from page 1
•Potential date rapist behavioral signs that should raise a red flag
•Circumstances that are favorable to this crime and how to avoid them
•Preventative tips for both rape and date rape
•Suggestions of what to do when confronted with a rapist
Alcohol induced troublemakers: These types of people are normally pretty descent people, but when they drink they become a monster. We had one person who was huge, strong as an ox, and when he drank look out it was going to be fight night. We would always have to wrestle with him, once we had him cuffed and in back seat of car. He would sit and smash his head against plastic divider so hard that he would cut it open, and then off to hospital we would go. Once he got into a cell he would do same thing against cell wall cutting his head open and again off to hospital we would go. Usually arresting him meant a fight, two trips to hospital, and having at least three officers tied up for hours. Yet when he was sober he was nicest guy, alcohol just made him extremely violent. Of course he mixed a few drugs in there too, but alcohol was main cause for his violence. You will encounter these types at bar, sporting events, large parties, and unfortunately sometimes weddings. The best defense against these types is just stay clear of them, and don’t get into any confrontations with them.
Silent Assaulters: These are typically your domestic violence types. They are outwardly pretty meek and mild, where most people that know them outside of home would never think they are domestic abusers; however, inside home structure they are very controlling, and that control is enforced through physical assaults and psychological degradation. I remember one incident where a woman was severely beaten by her live in boyfriend. She was surprised that she ever got into this situation. She stated that she was an educated professional woman, and her abuser was a well educated man making a six figure income. According to her, he is kind off a geek that nobody would give a second thought of as far as being a threat. However, he beat her so badly that she was hospitalized with a closed head injury. It’s very important to really know person you are getting involved with. Many times red flags will appear early in relationship that are signs that person could be a domestic abuser. I have written a complete section on domestic violence which is covered in my book “Crime Awareness 101.” In that section I talk about what to look for, preventative measures to take, cycle of violence, plus what to do when you are a victim. I also list numerous support groups and other resources.
Thinkers: These are criminals who are better known as con artists. They pre plan their scams and are usually very good at them. They are normally non violent, very good at getting your trust, and talking their way out of situations. They offer free trips, discounted services, money, etc… whatever they offer its just front to get you interested, in end they are going to take your money. They may also pose as your Medical Insurance carrier, Bank, Credit Card Company, etc, and con you into telling them your personal information. These con artists attempt their scams in person, over phone, and through internet. In my book “Crime Awareness 101” I wrote a chapter on scams which list some of more common scams and what to look out for. In members area of my website http://www.crimeawareness101.com I list, and consistently update even more scams.
About the author: Scott Shaper is a former police officer with over fourteen year’s law enforcement experience. He is also the author of the book “Crime Awareness 101”, and the operator of the website http://www.crimeawareness101.com. Visit his website for more crime prevention articles and information about his book.