But if benefits and drawbacks of my hearing impairment are more or less equal, short-term memory loss that's accompanied my sexagenarianism has a plus side that actually outweighs its minus side. I'm speaking, of course, of guarantee it can afford me that a movie I'm going to will be a good one. I'll notice, for instance, an ad for a movie and tell a friend about it. The friend will advise me that I saw movie just a week ago. I'll ask him if I liked it and if he says, "Yeah, you couldn't stop talking about it," I'll think, hey, how often does a movie come with THAT kind of recommendation and I'll go immediately to see it. I'm told that I've seen "Pearl Harbor" eight times now.

(I might add here that my short-term memory loss in no way affects my ability to remember last time I had sex.)

But of many compensatory rewards that turning sixty provides, there's one that I value most of all. Although I can still croak at a RELATIVELY early age, I'll be spared embarrassment of expiring at a TRAGICALLY early age.