Parenting---Roots and Wings

Written by Kim Olver

Continued from page 1

I remember when my oldest son was sixteen and working as a waiter in a local diner. He became involved in a confrontation with a customer over a racial remarkrepparttar customer made. When hearingrepparttar 147783 story, I was extremely proud that my son stood up for equality and fairness but was actually mortified by his immature, locker room behavior that he displayed! No, I will not print exactly what he did but suffice it to say that it was not a proud maternal moment.

My son and I had several conversations about this incident overrepparttar 147784 next few days and I was unable to get him to understand that what he had done was inappropriate. Finally, he said to me, “Mom, I know you want me to say that I was wrong but I’m not ashamed of what I did. In fact, I would do exactlyrepparttar 147785 same thing ifrepparttar 147786 situation presents itself again.” Wow, I guess he told me!

I had to practice what I preach. His value system was not matching up with mine. It was very clear to me that he was “wrong”, however, in his world at that time, he didrepparttar 147787 “right” thing for him. When you give your child wings, you need to allow them to do things their own way even if you are sure a better way exists. You can offer your better way inrepparttar 147788 form of a suggestion, but then get out ofrepparttar 147789 way and allow your child to makerepparttar 147790 decision and to managerepparttar 147791 consequences that occur because of that decision.

This process helps our children become better decision makers. We talk with our children about allrepparttar 147792 choices that exist, and then examinerepparttar 147793 pros and cons of each choice. After that, we must step back and allow our children to makerepparttar 147794 decision that’s right for them. Then, we can talk to them about how things worked out but never protect them fromrepparttar 147795 consequences of their decisions. This is whererepparttar 147796 learning takes place.

You are there to support them and help them managerepparttar 147797 consequences but don’t intervene on their behalf and also don’t assume that “I told you so” attitude. That does not teach your child anything but not to come to you to talk things over anymore.

Come to one of our workshops where you can learn more about parenting teens and more about roots and wings, while your children are involved inrepparttar 147798 revolutionary R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Academy, where they will be learningrepparttar 147799 tools of self-discipline, survival and empowerment. Visit and viewrepparttar 147800 information regarding our Parent/Teen Weekend Workshop that run periodically throughoutrepparttar 147801 United States or check our events calendar for upcoming teleclasses and chats.

Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. Visit her website at or contact her at (708) 957-6047.

Letter for Two (I accpt your apology)

Written by C.V. Harris

Continued from page 1

I accept your apology because I know that you love me, even though no matter how many times I heard it in life, to me it was never enough.

I could feel then, when I was amongst you, exactly what you are feeling right now. Your pain, your regrets for what you should have told me, should have did for me. Know, I accept your apology for forgettingrepparttar mother’s days and birthday’s, even though I tried to tell you then how significant those days are while your mother is alive.

For allrepparttar 147704 times that I was ignored, defied, mistreated, disliked, lied to, taken for granted, hated, and turned against. I want you EACH of you to know ....... I accept your apology.

I am hopeful even though my physical body cannot embrace you and takerepparttar 147705 pain away, that you now will remember my birthday and realize why mother’s day has a very, very, very special meaning.

I am hopeful that you are not taking this lesson too hard.

I just want each of you to know how much I love you still, even though I cannot tell you.

I accept your apologies... that I never will be able to hear.

As I write this final letter for two, please know that I do not want you to live your lives perforated with guilt. I write this letter to ease your minds and to let you know .... I accept.

I accept. For allrepparttar 147706 sunlit skies that I will never see......I accept.

I accept. For all of your smiles, tickles in your laughter, and all ofrepparttar 147707 laughter to follow....I accept.

I have accepted that you loved me THEN as you love me NOW.

I have accepted that you were just being teenagers.

THIS…………… my Letter for Two.

*This story can also be viewed at

C.V. Harris is a writer living in South Orange New Jersey who's passion for expressing the sentiments of love, grief and triumph can be both entertaining as well as motivating. C.V. Harris can be contacted at Click Here

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