Written by Dr. Dorree Lynn

Continued from page 1

Somewhere in mid-life many people begin to realize they are not going to live forever. Often, as with Jamie, they enter psychotherapy to deal with very real life issues only to find that they flow easily between talking about their personal dynamics and their cosmic beliefs. A 1995 Gallup poll found thatrepparttar older a person is,repparttar 126326 more importantrepparttar 126327 rituals of religion were likely to be. Also, findings are consistent that older people who use religion to cope do better psychologically and physically than those who do not.

As we age,repparttar 126328 concept of spirituality —whether through or apart from religious ritual — takes on greater significance. Since our population is aging and forrepparttar 126329 first time in our history seniors will outnumber youth, perhaps there will be a change inrepparttar 126330 ways our society views both age and spirituality. Ultimately we need to move towardsrepparttar 126331 ultimate answer, which is as old as time: We need to give back and to love.

This column's for you,


Dorree Lynn, PH.D

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

Desperately Seeking Perfection

Written by John Boe

Continued from page 1

The Thinker’s self-discipline and sense of order may cause them to be routine and possibly ritualistic in their activities. This can result in compulsive behavior such as eating disorders or “cleaning fetishes.” If taken torepparttar extreme, these tendencies become obsessive-compulsive behaviors. Tony Randall, a Thinker, exemplifies this compulsiveness and exaggerates his own temperament by portrayingrepparttar 126325 perfectionistic Felix inrepparttar 126326 TV sitcom, The Odd Couple. Thinkers are both health and appearance conscious and routinely exercise torepparttar 126327 extreme. Because they strive for perfection, Thinkers are also susceptible to both anorexia and bulimia. Karen Carpenter and Princess Diana both battled this challenge. Thinkers can be difficult and demanding to please and rarely meet their own high standards. They are often their own worst critics. They will often berate themselves with guilt and blame for their perceived shortcomings. This critical outlook frequently manifests as negative self-talk. While self-criticism is necessary for personal growth, taken torepparttar 126328 extreme, it becomes unhealthy and can lead to depression. Abe Lincoln, a Thinker, was plagued throughout his lifetime with bouts of depression. He was fond of saying, “man is about as happy as he makes his mind up to be.”

Physical Features:

Thinkers will have a slightly darker cast and a more serious demeanor thanrepparttar 126329 other three primary temperament styles. This darker cast is due to what Hippocrates labeledrepparttar 126330 “melancholy influence” in this style. This isrepparttar 126331 “dark” referred to inrepparttar 126332 phrase, “tall dark and handsome.” Thinkers have identifiable wrinkles on their forehead and between their eyebrows. Ask a Thinker a question or give them a problem to solve and watch these furrow lines appear. The majority of Thinkers have long eyelashes and many have protruding ears like Abraham Lincoln, Prince Charles and Ross Perot. It has been my observation that everyone with a cleft chin is a Thinker, although not every Thinker will have a cleft chin. The most perfectionistic ofrepparttar 126333 six Thinker primary profiles isrepparttar 126334 Thinker/Watcher/Worker/Talker profile, AKArepparttar 126335 Perfectionist. This profile,repparttar 126336 Perfectionist, is easy to spot because ofrepparttar 126337 distinctively thin shape to their head and chest. A good example of this Perfectionist profile is David Hyde Pierce who plays Dr. Niles Crane onrepparttar 126338 popular sitcom, Frasier. Other well known Perfectionists are: Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Carson, Kevin Costner, Celine Dion, Abe Lincoln and Tony Randall.

Body Language:

The most common body language tendency forrepparttar 126339 Thinker is to place their hand around their mouth, cheek or chin. This is a comfortable and natural posture when they are thinking or analyzing. Perhaps this is why Rodin created his sculpture masterpiece, “The Thinker,” withrepparttar 126340 chin resting onrepparttar 126341 fist. When an individual talks while their hand is covering their mouth, or talks through their fingers, it sendsrepparttar 126342 signal that they do not believe in what they are saying. When a Thinker is inrepparttar 126343 process of making a decision, they will stroke their chin. Another important gesture forrepparttar 126344 Thinker is critical judgment. Placing a thumb underrepparttar 126345 chin withrepparttar 126346 index finger resting alongrepparttar 126347 cheek forms this negative gesture. Thinkers have a tendency to rub or scratch their nose frequently. Body language experts tell us that when a person does not likerepparttar 126348 subject being discussed, tiny nerve endings inrepparttar 126349 nose cause it to itch. There are several ways people scratch their nose. Women will often scratch their nose with their little finger so they don’t smudge their makeup. Many Thinkers use their thumb and index finger in a pinching gesture. Perhapsrepparttar 126350 most frequently used nose scratching gesture is what I callrepparttar 126351 violin method. This is when a person takes their index finger and rubs it vigorously back and forth under their nose as if they were playing a violin. When one peers overrepparttar 126352 top of their eyeglasses it denotes “judgment and scrutiny.” Judge Judy exemplifies this negative gesture as she glares over her half glasses in an attempt to intimidate others in her courtroom. The most dismissive body language gesture used byrepparttar 126353 Thinker is “rolling their eyes” in a condescending manner.

Thinker Traits:

Organized - Loyal - Diplomatic - Thoughtful - Honest - Detailed

Moody - Pessimistic - Critical - Cheap - Sensitive - Private

Thinker Behaviors:

1. Appears thoughtful and serious. 2. Gives accurate and exact information. 3. Follows instructions exactly. 4. Preplans important conversations. 5. Likes to followrepparttar 126354 rules. Runs things byrepparttar 126355 book. 6. Speaks slowly and carefully. 7. Becomes angry over errors or poor quality.

How Thinkers Can Improve:

1. Loosen up a bit; don’t be so formal and structured. 2. Don’t analyze things to death. 3. Don’t correct others publicly. 4. Don’t stress and worry so much. 5. Try not to be so private and secretive. 6. Do things out of sequence when possible. 7. Avoid trying for perfection.

The following well known people all haverepparttar 126356 Thinker as their primary temperament style: Alan Alda, Julie Andrews, Fred Astaire, Lucille Ball, Kevin Beacon, Usama Bin Laden, Jack Benny, Holle Berry, David Bowie, Matthew Broderick, Tom Brokaw, Pierce Brosnan, Ted Bundy, Carol Burnett, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, Nicholas Cage, Karen Carpenter, Jim Carrey, Prince Charles, David Copperfield, Courtney Cox, Tom Cruise, Billy Crystal, Jamie Lee Curtis, Princess Diana, Michael Douglas, Clint Eastwood, Henry Fonda, Jane Fonda, Peter Fonda, Harrison Ford, Jody Foster, Michael J. Fox, Jeff Foxworthy, Mel Gibson, Louis Gossett Jr., Cary Grant, Wayne Gretsky, Arsenio Hall, Tom Hanks, George Harrison, Florence Henderson, Audrey Hepburn, Ron Howard, Howard Hughes, Helen Hunt, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordon, John F. Kennedy, John F. Kennedy Jr., Matt Lauer, Bruce Lee, Jack Lemmon, David Letterman, Charles Lindberg, Susan Lucci, Reba McEntire, Steve McQueen, Demi Moore, Eddie Murphy, Leonard Nimoy, Sean Penn, Ross Perot, Luke Perry, Regis Philbin, David Hyde Pierce, Lionel Richie, Joan Rivers, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Jerry Seinfeld, Judge Judy Sheindlin, Will Smith, Steven Spielberg, Howard Stern, Jimmy Stewart, Martha Stewart, John Stossel, Denzel Washington, and Tiger Woods.

John Boe, based in Monterey, CA, is recognized as one of the nation’s top sales trainers and motivational speakers. He helps companies recruit, train and motivate quality people. John is a leading authority on body language and temperament styles. To view his online Video Demo or to have John Boe speak at your next event, visit or call (831) 375-3668.

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