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(a) never washing or cleaning your car. Leave it looking and smelling like county landfill.
(b) Have worst behaved child in your family sitting in front seat at all times. Feed child lots of candy so he/she is always superhyper.
(c) Refuse to discuss anything in your car except your spouses bad bathing habits, bodily fluids, hang nails, chest hair, etc.
(d) Only play reggae music on radio. Loud!
You shouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to ride with you ever again.
3. Ride Bus/Subway
Many cities have a mass transit system that is an alternative to driving your own vehicle. If you live in a city that doesn't have one don't worry-you can always move. Of course, riding public transportation does have a few drawbacks, but these can be easily overcome if you follow these simple guidelines:
1. No matter what happens never, ever make eye contact with anyone. Making eye contact is an invitation for someone to mug you.
2. No matter what happens never, ever give up your seat to anyone. This is seen as weakness, and will be taken as an invitation to mug you.
3. No matter how tempted you are never, ever strike up a conversation with person sitting next or across from you. This is very annoying and can be taken as an invitation for someone to mug you. Or worse, for someone to talk back.
4. Always make sure you are alert to get on and off at right stop. Getting off at wrong stop can lead to immediate mugging.
5. Never, ever take children with you on public transportation. Fellow passengers hate children. Children make you definite mug victim material.
Well, there you have it. 3 ways to deal with rising gas prices. Hopefully, you will be able to use these methods to keep from spending twice your car's Blue Book value just going to Walmart. Hopefully, next time your friends are grumbling and ranting about mounting gas prices you will be able to just sit back and smile, content because issue no longer concerns you. Hopefully, I've once more helped my loyal readers in a time of crisis. And all I ask in return as a simple thank you next time you see me. Just make sure we're not on bus. I'd hate to have to mug you...
Timothy Ward invites you to subscribe to his weekly humor column 'I Never Said I Was Normal' at timward.1afm.com