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4) Parents need to tread very carefully in developing an appropriate amount of freedom and independence. Children have to learn to do things for themselves and to become confident. Parents need to instill a sense of responsibility for accepting consequences for poor decision making. Adolescents need to have some choices, but they must accepted
outcomes of their choices. Parents can help their child achieve a balance of close connection and independence by setting boundaries, being specific with instructions, and giving some appropriate choices. These freedoms can be given gradually, increasing as adolescent shows success in decision making. There is a difference between guiding and controlling. The youngsters can sense difference and need to be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.
5) Friendships become so important to adolescents. Parents need to guide youngsters into good friendships. Peer pressure or an unhealthy friendship can affect grades, behavior, and attitude. It is not unusual for youngsters to form groups or cliques which may have a focal point such as sports. Parents have reason to worry about in influence of friends and opportunities for poor decision making. However, parents still need to remain as number one influence in a child’s life. Parents can and should provide guidance about careers and moral values. If parent/child bond can remain strong, influence can have more impact. Parents need to get to know their child’s friends and parents of friend. Friendships have to be monitored continually and closely.
6) So what about choices in music, movies and media? The "Three M’s" can have a tremendous influence on a child. They can shape attitudes and values, and they are everywhere. If choices are good ones, then programs and movies can inform and entertain. Adolescents need some guidance in what is good and what is bad. Research has pointed out time and again that violence in programs and movies increases aggressive behavior and makes shocking events or behavior seem commonplace. In addition, number of hours of television watching needs to be monitored. Schoolwork needs to come first.
7) Parents need to be supportive of school and related school events by attending events and volunteering. Remember that most middle schools or junior high schools reflect a transitional stage from elementary to high school. The youngster will likely have several teachers and will move from class to class. It is a big change and can be stressful and overwhelming. Parents need to stay alert to which subjects are more difficult. At first sign of a problem, parents need to meet with teacher. Working to together like a team is best approach. To do that parents need to find out expectations about behavior, academics and homework.
Parenting is not easy, and adolescents can be a handful. Parents can survive their child’s difficult and challenging years and can even help child thrive. Remember that what works for one child does not necessarily work for others, but seven situations and circumstances are avenues toward reaching out to support and guide youngsters through an interesting period of their lives.
You can find acclaimed series “Helping Your Child Learn” at http://www.sbmag.org/Help_Your_Child_Learn
The About The Author statement must remain in tact. We also request notification of where article is being used so Copyright usage: No permission is needed to reproduce this story. reciprocal links can be considered. mailto:barb@sbmag.org
Barbara Snyder M.A. is a retired California Distinguished School Principal and Coordinator For Human Resources. She has a master’s degree in Curriculum and Instruction. She holds elementary education, secondary, community college, and administrative credentials. She is currently the publisher of http://EducationResourcesNetwork.com, and Strictly Business Magazine, http://www.sbmag.org and Student Teacher Supervisor at Chapman University.
