Talk to your local council, they will know where a community Christmas meal will be served.

Travel agents and local councils will be able to put you in touch with people organising tours on Christmas day. There may be trips to country where you will have a nice meal. Or there may be tours of Christmas scenes and lights.

3) Help others

Help out at a homeless shelter for day and spread Christmas cheer to others. The Salvation Army or other church organisations or poverty groups will be grateful for any help you can offer. Helping others is always a great way to cheer yourself up.

4) Invite others over for a Christmas meal.

If you know of others who are going to be alone you can invite them over for a meal. You can delegate so everyone brings something to eat and make sure everyone knows what time you are expecting them.

Make sure you decide before hand whether you want to exchange gifts or not. That way no one will be embarrassed by not having gifts for others.

This is only a small sample of ways to enjoy your Christmas more. I am sure you can come up with others. The idea is to plan your day and fill it with things you enjoy. When you do this, you will have something to look forward to on day, instead of a long day spent alone, thinking about all things you are missing.

What if you're invited to one or more parties? If you don't care for parties, your inner brat will think up all sorts of cynical reasons why you shouldn't go. Even if you do enjoy parties, you inner brat may still interfere. For example, in midst of a busy gathering, you may feel slighted by people who haven't come over to greet you. Or you may be disappointed by people who said they would come to your party and then don't show up. Here, your inner brat could smolder with resentment, causing a major rift in your relationships.

Don't make this holiday a free-for-all for your inner brat. Crowds, parking spaces, out-of-stock items and even annoying people are only temporary inconveniences. And just because alcohol and calorie-laden foods are readily available, doesn't mean that your inner brat must have what it wants when it wants.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE

Think of rush of activities as an adventure rather than an ordeal. If it's raining or snowing when you must go shopping, all better for your challenge. Attitude really does make a difference.

Make it a point to do one random act of kindness each day. This will disarm your inner brat and put you in a better mood for hours.

When you attend social gatherings, don't dwell on yourself or on what people are thinking of you. Focus on others and find something interesting about them, even if it's only a novel tie that they're wearing. You will be less self-conscious, and your inner brat will fade into background.

If you're watching your weight in face of seasonal treats and beverages, remember you can probably have a few of these treats without doing major damage to your diet. In fact, it's better not to deprive yourself. A strictly deprived inner brat is more likely to resort to serious tactics to make you give in.

ACCEPT GIFTS GRACIOUSLY

If it's wrong size or color or if you really don't like it, tough. Try not to read too much into motives of person giving you gift. The quality of a relationship is not measured by cost or nature of a Christmas present.

--------------------------- Copyright Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. 2003. All rights reserved

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001)

Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.