Just how fortuitous, I was about to learn.

As I headed toward my office to get some work done, she sniffed new diaper. Making a funny face..."Pee-ew! She did this on your watch. Here, you take her."

I hightailed it to my desk, "No way. I just changed her. You take her."

"She's all yours," she insisted.

"No more dirty diapers," I cried, ducking behind a chair. "Somebody call 9-1-1. My wife is chasing me with a loaded baby!"

Having children at either end of toddlerhood opens up all kinds of opportunities for injuries. It seems they each take their rolls very seriously. Little Sister drops as much food on floor as she can get her fingers into. And Little Lady is only too happy to help her little sister slip on that food later.

Of course, Little Sister is very polite, and she quickly reciprocates by grabbing Little Lady to hold her balance. Have you ever been grabbed by a 14-month old baby-toddler? She makes a pit bull's bite feel tender as a gentle ocean breeze.

And she always knows just right places to grab, so that any family member can easily compete with smoke alarm in volume, tone and free-style split-ear injury creation.

Yes, home has become an ominous booby trap, launching its attack on families where they least expect it. When even toaster and smoke alarm collaborate on home insurgencies, can all-out warfare be far behind?

But I will have final laugh. Just wait 'til I rewire smoke alarm. Who needs to warned about smoke, anyway? In this house we need to be warned about dirty diapers. Hey, I feel a new invention coming on.

Thank you mummy for being there, Your love and devotion show you care. Your own approach and take on life, Treasured by us who’ve seen your strife. You’ve given us only security we know, And cared for us despite a low cash flow. Our hearts leap as we think of you, And our hope in life become anew.