As human beings, we were designed to take action. "Do something, even if it's wrong" became a popular saying some time back and it is no wonder. We value action and loathe inactivity. Knowing this, we can determine most powerful defining moments in our lives.

The most powerful defining moment in our life occurs immediately following decision not to do something. The action or lack of action at this moment leaves greatest impression on our lives, and we aren't even aware it happens!

I decided not to lie. Five simple words that carry with it powerful message: "I am honest. I can be trusted. I will not compromise my integrity". If we stick with this, we reap benefits. This is a positive example. Unfortunately we have become a society of people who focus on negative, so here's a negative example as well.

We decide to loose some weight. This is a good decision. We take action step of planning an exercise program. Again, this is good. The defining moments to this point are those of a person who will not only loose weight, but who will also follow through, take positive action and achieve success. The next morning when we wake up and decide NOT to exercise, all this is lost and we have defined ourselves as a person who will not loose weight, will not take action and will not be a success. In addition we define ourselves as failures. Each day, a new opportunity will come to define ourselves. The more days in a row we take either action will determine which person we are: exerciser (the success) or couch potato (the failure).

We must realize power of seemingly little decisions we make all day, each day. Decisions that happen in a blink of an eye carry with them consequences that will shape our personality, determine our integrity and control our destiny. These snippets of time are our defining moments.

5. No plan. Without a plan, people don’t know what actions they need to take in order to change a habit. And without defined actions, it’s too easy to slip into default mode – old behavior. Knowing that you are going to lose those twenty-five pounds by cutting out all snacking in evening (your personal downfall) tells you exactly what you are going to do.

6. No support. People often try to “go it alone” when they’re trying to change a habit. That only makes it nineteen times harder. Having someone who will cajole, cheer, nag and sympathize along way helps you stick to your guns. A support buddy reminds you why you’re doing this, celebrates your successes, and keeps you pointed in right direction. A support buddy will be there to talk you out of eating entire bag of potato chips at 8:30 in evening, no matter how loud those potato chips are calling.

So there you are, ready to change a habit without struggling. It will still take hard work and self-discipline, but it will be a lot easier to do that hard work and discipline if you avoid those six mistakes.

NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including "about author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Lynn Cutts at Lynn@ManageYourMuse.com.

Copyright 2005 Lynn Cutts