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All in all, I went on about 8 first dates with men I had met online before one with my husband. A couple of them turned into second dates and fizzled, and one lasted a couple of months until we decided we made better friends then lovers. Most of these men were terrific.
I had sworn off dating in general for a while and had taken my personal ads offline. One day, I found myself bored during some down time at work and just for fun decided to browse personal ads again. One person I found was man I had had relationship with in past so I wrote to him under a fake name to play with him a bit. However, I couldn’t keep up prank, so I quickly called him to tell him it was me (I stink at lying). Then I came across a young man with warmest and most genuine smile I had ever seen.
His profile joked about my old favorite TV show so I knew we had something in common. I laughed out loud while reading his profile and found my fingers were typing a message to him before it even registered in my brain. We wrote back and forth to each other for a while, but lost touch for a bit around 9-11.
In January of next year, he wrote an email out of blue right after I had decided to swear off of dating for a while (not having a lot of offline luck). We started talking again and eventually moved our communication to phone. His voice warmed me throughout and I would find myself being soothed after a stressful day at work just by sound of his voice. We shared stories about our childhood, our life experiences, and our families and friends. We spent hours (at least 80) on phone before day we finally met face-to-face.
Anxiety gripped me as reality that this man that I had fallen in love with through computer and over phone might not click with me in person. We had already built such a foundation for a great relationship and I didn’t want to see it go away. You just can’t control chemistry! However, if it was going to go forward meeting had to happen and I just decided to go in with attitude of “if we don’t click romantically, at least I have a new friend”.
The evening of our date came and butterflies buzzed through my stomach as he stood and approached me when I got to restaurant where we were meeting. Quickly, I found I had nothing to worry about. Our conversation flowed smoothly without any of awkward silences that occur in most first dates from offline introductions. We had drinks, dinner, and conversation for about 1 ˝ hours. Then we went to a movie, which I normally don’t suggest on a first date but we had already done so much talking and taken so much time getting to know each other that it worked out fine.
When date was over he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye leaving me with anticipation of our next date and possible first kiss.
The rest between us is history. Online dating brought him to me. I most likely never would have met him otherwise. Taking all time we did to get to know each other allowed us to build a strong foundation of friendship to build a love relationship on. I had always dreamed I would marry a man who would be my best friend, and I did.
Now, I find that I meet people all time who found their husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends online. It seems to be becoming most popular way to meet new people. The possibilities are endless online. There are no borders or miles keeping you from meeting interesting, incredible people. You can choose how close or how far you want your new friends/lovers to be. The door is opened for you to meet people that you never would have in another way. You can get to know them (if you take time) at a deeper level before you meet face-to-face. That way if you are drawn physically together, there is already something there to build upon. You can take your time, set your own pace, and get to know anyone from safety of your own home. You don’t even have to get dressed up or put on your make-up to have an “online date”. It takes less effort, less time away from home, and gives you more options then offline dating. Now, I am a definite believer and a exuberant flag-waver. I have encouraged my best friends, my sister, and any other single persons I know to jump on this ever-growing bandwagon. Now I encourage you to give it a try.
Jennifer Lester is an online dating expert who offers her advice and guidance through the world of online dating at her website: http://www.lovepersonally.com – The tour guide to your online dating experience.