There’s an interesting social phenomenon researchers have discovered in online interactions. They’ve found people often change their standards of politeness and diplomacy when a conversation is happening online, versus face-to-face.

Don’t believe it? You might be surprised if you were to go back and look at some of things you’ve said. Look at some messages you’ve sent, and then consider saying exact same words in a face-to-face or a telephone conversation. Sound a little rough? Don’t feel too bad, it happens to best of us, just try to keep this in mind next time you’re typing out an email or instant message.

One more thing—please don’t ignore people. A quick “thanks, but no thanks” note is so much better than no reply at all. In fact, next time you’re replying to a message on site, check out new “Thanks but No Thanks” template. It’s a quick way to nicely let someone know you’re not interested in corresponding.

YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS … Invite your friends along! Create Activity Groups, go on group dates, try Express Dating, enjoy travel events, and just enjoy net together. After all, instant messaging alone isn’t enough to build solid relationships.

Group dating and group events simply make a lot of sense for online dating. Not only does it make those first dates less stressful, it often makes them more fun, and it definitely makes first meetings a much safer proposition.

Have you ever tried Activity Groups? They’re a great way to meet people with common interests in a safe, fun group setting. You can join a group that’s already been created, or you can create your own and invite all your friends to join … and their friends … and their friends … you get point.

BREAK OUTA THAT SHELL Don’t be afraid to make first contact. Online dating makes it easy for all you shy ones out there to break ice, because you get to do all initial getting to know each other from comfort and safety of your own computer.

To start, just send a Flirt or a quick email message saying Hi—and do it often! You might be surprised how many of our great members suffer from lack of attention from their online peers. Not only might you find someone with whom you’re very interested in maintaining contact, but you’ll probably be making someone’s day.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS If your first internet efforts haven’t turned up “the perfect one,” don’t despair. Hundreds of new people sign up every day on site, so just come back to see Who’s New. You may also want to consider expanding your searches—don’t be too intent on sticking to your itemized checklist for eternal mates.

You might also want to try some different searches from time to time. Because there are about a million different things you might find attractive in another person, it’s nice to mix up criteria you’re searching on once in a while. For example, you can search by their Occupation, any Keyword or combination of keywords you can think of, and many others.

UH OH … THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN! Don’t be afraid to have some fun along your path to relationship happiness! Enjoy getting to know people and understand that many happy relationships and even marriages start with a good ol’ friendship. And, don’t rush it!

You’ve heard animals can sense fear? Well, we humans can be pretty perceptive as well (except for that one guy who just can’t take a hint). So, don’t think others can’t sense when you’re frustrated, dejected, conceited, holier than thou, fed up, etc. etc. Put a smile on, and enjoy ride, because even if first few people you meet aren’t Mr./Mrs. Right, it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun in good conversations with them.

You may also need to be a little bit patient as you head off into brave new world of online dating. Not all marriages are “love at first site,” and even if yours is, it may take a lot of looking before you “site” that special someone. And so, once again … enjoy ride!

USE YOUR NOODLE Ya know, that gray matter between your ears? That's your noodle. Use it! Be smart, be cautious, and follow our safety guidelines, your instincts, and spirit in all your dating activity.

Done right, online dating is a lot of fun, and it’s a great way to meet some wonderful people … just ask thousand-plus people we’ve had submit success stories to us in past few years! So, enjoy it, and follow these ten tips, and hopefully we’ll be getting a success story from you sometime soon.

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But Megan had house, car, husband, children, money, job, antidepressants – and she still wasn’t happy. So, she went looking for another person to make her happy.

The problem is that as long as Megan and Jim believe that something external will make them happy, they will be unhappy, and they will keep looking for another person, better sex, a bigger house, and so on to make them happy.

Infidelity generally comes from same inner emptiness as does alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping, and so on. In case of infidelity, addiction is to attention, approval or sex – using another person to fill inner emptiness and take away inner aloneness. Rather than end relationship, taking their emptiness and aloneness with them into their next relationship, Megan and Jim have opportunity to do some inner healing work.

Megan and Jim decided that it was worth trying to save their marriage. They came to one of our Inner Bonding Couples Intensives and learned about all ways they were making other person responsible for their well-being and happiness. They learned powerful Inner Bonding process for taking responsibility for their own feelings and for connecting with an ever-present source of love and wisdom to help them learn to love themselves. They discovered that they had no love to share with each other until they learned how to fill themselves with love and to be loving to themselves. They learned:

* To stay focused inward, on their own feelings and behavior, rather than have their eyes on other’s plate.

* That their intention is most powerful thing they have, and that they are either in intent to protect against pain or intent to learn in any given moment. They discovered that intent to learn about themselves and each other creates intimacy while intent to protect against being hurt creates distance.

* To explore their own fears and beliefs rather than keep trying to get other to change.

* How to connect with their personal source of inner/spiritual guidance to help them know loving action toward themselves and with each other and they learned to take loving action for themselves rather than try to get other to take care of them.

By being willing to do their inner work and learn how to take emotional responsibility for themselves, Megan and Jim were able to create a much more intimate and fulfilling relationship. The affairs, rather than ending their relationship, led to creating a whole new and satisfying relationship. At this point, neither Megan nor Jim has any desire to have an affair.