Written by Theolonius McTavish

Continued from page 1

It seems however thatrepparttar American patriots really missed not having any slow-moving big bad beasts to ride or moth-eaten mammoths inrepparttar 118156 rec-room to show off to inquisitive neighbors. In fact, so adoring were they ofrepparttar 118157 absent gargantuan, grumpy, four-footed mammal that they decided to give it a prominent political position in their country, asrepparttar 118158 symbol ofrepparttar 118159 US Republican Party.

Speaking of elephants**, Abraham Lincoln certainly recognizedrepparttar 118160 virtue of having long, flexible-snouted folks as friends and allies, even ifrepparttar 118161 other side didn't. More importantly, he knew how to manage a herd of elephants in a democratic society. Never stand in front, behind or under them, and according to Abe, "When you have got an elephant byrepparttar 118162 hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run."

Of course, letting elephants runrepparttar 118163 affairs of state hadrepparttar 118164 unintended consequence of fewer job opportunities for bonified politicians, pundits and policy analysts. That's whyrepparttar 118165 equal opportunity folks in America encouragedrepparttar 118166 adoption of 'donkeys' asrepparttar 118167 symbol ofrepparttar 118168 Democratic Party.

The best laid plans ofrepparttar 118169 pragmatists did not however appear to be working all that well. To top it all off,repparttar 118170 growing number of “white elephants” and "jackasses" everywhere began to cause a commotion. Something had to happen and fast!

The answer came inrepparttar 118171 form of several delightful diversions. An ingenius circus promoter named P.T. Barnum found a way to make people laugh and make pots of moolah fromrepparttar 118172 likes of a great gallumping galoot named “Jumbo”. The tradition continued with a magical movie mogul named Walt Disney. He wasrepparttar 118173 man behind a fictional, flying elephant named “Dumbo”, a "Daffy Duck" and a mouse named "Mickey", not to mention profitable outdoor theme parks built to house allrepparttar 118174 critters and mollifyrepparttar 118175 munchkin families.

While it's true that British author A.A. Milne created an elusive, honey-eating, flat-footed fictional character named “Heffalump” to keep Piglet and friends happy, thanks torepparttar 118176 invention of television andrepparttar 118177 American edu-tainment industry, millions of tiny tots aroundrepparttar 118178 globe will never forget “Sesame Street” and an unusual wooly mammoth named, “Aloysius Snuffleupgas”. Nor will they forgetrepparttar 118179 Dr. Seuss tale about "Horton", an endearing elephant, and incidentallyrepparttar 118180 only being on Earth who's aware of an entire civilization of wee folk living on a single dandelion.

So, if you think that elephants are an endangered species…you might want to think again. They seem to be alive and doing rather well in game preserves, zoos, theme parks, museums, books and television shows. And if you haven't had your fill of elephants, why not enjoy their starring role in a new Disney film, entitled "Pooh's Heffalump Movie", to be released on February 11, 2005.

(Note: Heffalump Hunters Beware – bagged beasts are simply not inrepparttar 118181 cards for you next year, so stop whining and take up tiddlywinks or croquet! And for those who are valiantly trying to tell their family and friends aboutrepparttar 118182 proverbial 'elephant inrepparttar 118183 living room' -- they can't hear you -- they're too worried about a bull inrepparttar 118184 china shop or what to wear for Halloween!)


**The importance of elephants should not be underestimated as revealed inrepparttar 118185 famous last words of a U.S. Civil War general (one John Segwick), who learned his lessonrepparttar 118186 hard way. In answer to his troops' urgings to take cover, he replied in a short-sighted if not stupefying manner, "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-."

Theolonius McTavish is an eccentric collector of odd facts and things that go bumpty bump bump bump in broad daylight. He also moonlights as a visiting wordpecker in the court of The Quipping Queen at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com.


Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

Continued from page 1

It is not so much that politicians lie, they just doctor uprepparttar facts torepparttar 118155 point thatrepparttar 118156 truth would not recognize it. A veteran politician can take a simple sentence like, "The black cat crossedrepparttar 118157 road," and spin it for personal advantage.

"I have a plan for that black cat, so he will not have to crossrepparttar 118158 road. I voted for building a new road before I voted against it. In my plan, no cat in America will be left behind.

"My plan will give every cat and their families free veterinary care forrepparttar 118159 rest of their life. I will look every cat inrepparttar 118160 eye and promise him or her that I will never raise his or her taxes.

"To pay for my plans I will only tax dogs. Everyone knows dogs in America get allrepparttar 118161 breaks and have much more than cats. I understand every cat's pain and I have a plan.

"Under my opponent's plan, every cat in America has gone from nine lives down to three. In my plan I will assure every cat in America at least 12 lives."

I'm sorry my grandfather is no longer with us. He certainly would enjoy allrepparttar 118162 hullabaloo associated with this present election.

In reflecting on my grandfather, I was reminded of some verses fromrepparttar 118163 Bible, which may or may not apply in our present condition. I was amazed at how harshrepparttar 118164 Bible is on people who lie and perpetuate a lie.

"Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right torepparttar 118165 tree of life, and may enter in throughrepparttar 118166 gates intorepparttar 118167 city. For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie." (Revelation 22:14-15 KJV).

"Butrepparttar 118168 fearful, and unbelieving, andrepparttar 118169 abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part inrepparttar 118170 lake, which burneth with fire and brimstone: which isrepparttar 118171 second death." (Revelation 21:7-8 KJV.)

Perhaps someone should enact a law forbidding people to lie and bear false witness against a neighbor. Wait a minute. If I'm not mistaken, there is one.

Inrepparttar 118172 Ten Commandments,repparttar 118173 ninth commandment says, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." (Exodus 20:16 KJV.)

This just may berepparttar 118174 reason some people are againstrepparttar 118175 Ten Commandments. To practice politics apart from religion is chaos - as our present condition proves.

Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife, Martha.

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