Not making a choice can be a dangerous choice. When we decide not to choose, we decide to give our personal power away. We give our power away either to a person or situation. Making a choice, even if it is only how we will respond to a situation, allows us to maintain our personal power.

Making choices, and being mindful of our choices, is important because it not only helps us maintain our personal power, but also to take responsibility for outcome. By taking responsibility, we remove ourselves from role of victim. Being a victim is a weak position to be in and removes choices we may otherwise have. To claim our personal power, we must make choices and accept responsibility for those choices.

Make a choice; even a poor choice is better than no choice at all.

5. Take Responsibility for Yourself. If you feel emotionally full after listening to a grieving person, ask him or her to stop sharing. Simply saying, "I care about you and want to listen, but now is not a good time. Can I listen [give possible time]?" will do trick. Unless you let others know you are not ready to listen, you are sending a message that could be easily misconstrued. If you force yourself to listen when you can't, grieving person will sense your inability to be fully present. He or she may interpret your "vibe" as a message, something like: "Your sadness or grief is not ok. No one wants to hear about it, not even me. Please put on a happy face." He or she will likely shut down negative emotions to accommodate you. This is not good for either of you, as it makes grief last longer.

6. Allow Sadness. Emotions are not deadly. And unless your emotions are of a clinical intensity, they cause no harm and are a good and natural part of life. If you suspect clinical depression or any other mental health issue, please get help from a qualified professional. Most dark emotions, such as sadness and grief, are just as natural and healing as joy and laughter. Allow person undergoing change to feel sad; it is good for soul. It's also his or her right.

7. Don't Determine Time Limit on Another's Emotions. We often want others to hurry up and get over their emotions so that our life can get back to normal. It is not up to you to determine when it's time for another to get over his or her emotions. Emotions have their own time table.

If someone you care about is going through a transition and feeling sad or grieving, simply listen. By listening you will be giving him or her a vital gift.

If you are one going through a difficult transition and feeling sad, grieving, find supportive people to simply listen to you.

Your relationships will be richer and fuller for experience.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"