Nine Steps to Regaining Self Esteem After DivorceWritten by Debbie Burgin
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6. Meet some new people.
When couples divorce, there may be a feeling amongst some of friends of that couple who feel as though there is a need to take sides. You may find that you will need to meet new people, and take a step back from that even for a short time. Get yourself some friends that you and your ex don’t have in common. My ex and I used to work in same industry, and as a result, we shared a lot of same business colleagues. So as soon as our relationship ended, I started my own business doing something that wasn’t related in any way, shape or form to what he does for a living. I feel like a zillion bucks .
7. Find new interests…
The next step to rebuilding your sense of self-esteem would be to find some new interests. Find something that makes you feel good/better about yourself. Kickboxing. Kickboxing is an amazing way to get rid of certain frustrations, AND introduces you to a new sport (I brought a picture of my ex to my kickboxing class, and taped it to heavy bag. It surprised my instructor, but worked wonders for me). If you enjoy being outdoors, you might consider joining a running club, a rowing club, or anything else that allows you to be outdoors while meeting new people.
8. Make peace with yourself.
Understand that what happened, for whatever reason that it happened, is done. Over. Let it go. Move on. Whatever kind of bitterness that may have existed when he/she left, is going to have to get lost or it will get in way of your true progress. I know. I did it. Get past it. How do you ‘get past it’? Take time to figure out where you want to be next in your life and be good to yourself. The previous nine steps will help alot.
Debbie Burgin has been divorced for 5 years, and has flourished in ways she never dreamed since her divorce. "We really need to look at the fact that divorce isn't always a bad thing. It's sad, yes, but some help us grow tremendously". More of Ms. Burgin's divorce, dating advice and articles at www.warnerdigitalmedia.com where she advises women to "Stop moping! Get out there and live life!"
Divorce Makes Us StrongerWritten by Debbie Burgin
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I completely believe that I was meant to go through each of those phases. I've learned so many incredible things about myself because of this experience. I have friends and acquaintances who are going through same things at this very moment, who (I'm flattered to say), come to me for advice, or merely need an ear, and it surprises me to hear them saying that they're having exact feelings and thoughts that I had in various stages of my journey. It also pleases me to say that there is nothing wrong with these phases. There were times when I thought that I was completely loopy. But we all go through them. I found that mine were therapeutic, and in hindsight, educational. I honestly believe that we're meant to learn something from each phase. I learned that I'm much stronger than I thought I was. I learned this when apprehension came to visit me. I learned that I have a lot more patience than I ever thought I could have. I learned that I CAN be bigger person (when I have to be). I learned that as long as I take care of myself, my children do wonderfully. I have full custody of 3 children, and I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I could do this on my own. Don't get me wrong, "the ex" is a regular visitor in my children's lives, and we got to be pretty good friends, once I grasped lesson that what happened wasn't about ME. It was his mess. It was his mental and emotional mess. There was nothing wrong with me.
I'm happy with my life, and with who I am at end of entire divorce process. I'm running my own business (www.DebbieBurgin.com), for first time in my life, I'm in complete control of every aspect of my life. My children are happy. If I want to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I can do so without having anyone berate me for it. If I want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a pair of amazing shoes, I will without a second (unwelcomed) opinion (Mr. Visa loves me). And last but absolutely NOT LEAST, I don't have anyone asking me "What did you do all day?" when they get home from work.
All's wonderful in my world. I truly believe that my divorce made me a much stronger person. I proudly bear title "Divorce Poster Child". I think I just might put that on a tee shirt.
Debbie Burgin is a divorced mom, who believes that sometimes life hands us rotten, nasty lemons, and it is our duty to find a way to make lemonade from them.
"Divorce is one of those things that give us the opportunity to look at our lives from behind an entirely different pair of goggles than most would expect. It is the opportunity to start over, to begin again".